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Going abroad, my lifelong dream


melramadhani 16 / 46 6  
Nov 17, 2014   #1
MIT - Tell us about the world you come from, how it shaped your dream and aspiration. (200 - 250)
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Going abroad is my lifelong dream that guided my life so far.

Going abroad is a symbol of wealth in Indonesia, something out of my family's reach. I grew up in Lombok, a tourist island where people from all over the world arrive and leave everyday. I made some foreign friends and felt envy; why can't I go abroad and explore the world?

When internet started to penetrate people's life in 5th grade, I learned to use it to explore places I wanted to go. The world 'scholarship' popped in my mind, as it is the fastest way to go abroad. I often spent hours (and the money for a week) googling 'full scholarship [country name]' for hours.

As I grew up and discover the wonder of science, my pursuit of scholarships abroad became no longer about going abroad alone. It grew to be a pursuit towards excellence, as there are few science developments in Indonesia. Here, universties are built to prepare youths for labor, not to understand the universe. I want to learn and research, not for the sake of getting high salary, but learning itself. I became no longer satisfied with formulas alone without actual forms in textbooks. In 11th grade, I independently studied precalculus just for satisfying my curiosity. I found myself unsuited with the education system in Indonesia; I have to study abroad.

MIT is my dream campus; I want to research with Prof. Poggio, Prof. Gifford, and turn the great dome into giant doraemon.

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does this answer the prompt? Tnanks
vangiespen - / 4,134 1449  
Nov 17, 2014   #2
Melati, I am very sad to say that you did not answer the prompt at all. Going abroad to study is not the point of the essay. The point of the essay is to present the admissions officer with a brief yet informative idea as to what kind of community or family that you come from. By presenting these types of information, the reader will be able to get an idea of the kind of influences that have helped to shape the person you have become. The information that you gave belongs to a different common app prompt.

Right now, what you need to do is write a new essay that better addresses the prompt and allows you to truly give us an idea of the world that you come from, the people with you in that world, and how that particular world influenced your dreams and ambitions in the process. A reference to the internet and the world of science is not the correct answer to this prompt. There are other essays at this forum that answer the same prompt which you can use as an example or template for when you write the new version of this essay. I suggest that you use the opportunity offered by being a member of this forum :-)
Ghfdw17 6 / 21  
Nov 17, 2014   #3
They are asking you why your world shaped your dreams and aspirations and how they shaped you into who you are today. Maybe you should rewrite it again and think of something that changed you and made you have specific goals and dreams. Hope I helped :)


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