GPPA Program: Why direct to medical school?

Please indicate why you're interested in your chosen profession. How do you see yourself being particularly suited to this field? What events and/or experiences have led you to your choice?

Why not medicine? Doctor's provide care to patients, solve problems, and help one feel safe in a world full of dangers. They are like rays of sunshine that help brighten someone's day. I want to do that for others. Yes, if I want to help others then there are plenty of other things I could do. Why not be a firewoman: a police officer? They all help people. Although, one reason I want to do medicine is because of anatomy. I love how you have 206 bones in a body and how they fit together to create the different joints. It also makes me wonder how my 5 ft 4 inch self can have arteries and veins that combined are around 2.5 times the circumference of the Earth.

Medicine also is very different from the other occupations. Medicine is one of the few occupations where there is a wide spectrum of jobs one can do. Medicine allows for various elements of thinking. I want a job where I can be creative, while also not doing a repetitive activity. Being in the medicinal field, I could have the opportunity to cure diseases, diagnose conditions, and improve someone's life.

I first became seriously interested in medicine when I went to visit family in India and accompanied my grandfather to an eye clinic where he routinely volunteered his time. The clinic performed free cataract surgery for poverty-stricken people. When we neared the building, I could hardly believe my eyes. There was a line of cataract patients starting from the entrance of the building down to the end of the block. All of who wished to be presented to a doctor that could perform surgery and give them their sight back. However when we entered the clinic, I was shocked to see only a couple other doctors. My 14 year old self was very confused by this. Why was there a seemingly endless line of people outside? And where were the other doctors? All these people cannot possibly be helped by the end of the day! I remember vividly the sad and helpless expression of the patient, as they were turned away. My grandfather explained to me that it takes only 30 min to perform the surgery but they don't have enough doctors so he has to send many patients away. I got to thinking I wish I was a doctor so I can help these people. I don't want anyone to have to be turned away from treatment when I have the opportunity to help them. In terms of the cataract patients, it would be my greatest joy to be able to give them their eyes back and let them see the world all over again. These patients wouldn't have to depend on others anymore and instead be able to take care of their day to day activities. I came back home to United States with my parents 2 weeks later, but that feeling and experience has stayed with me till this day and still encourages me to continue my pursuit of medicine.

Thank you very much for any advice!! This is still a rough draft and I'm not sure if I should keep many of the things I have (like the first paragraph) or if there is something I should add that could make my essay better.

Serena, I really like the way that you titled this essay. It really caught my attention and drew my interest into what you had to say. I realize that you are writing a personal statement for medical school, but there are really some points lacking in your essay. Being a personal statement, the highlight of this essay should revolve around the development of your interest in medicine and should also offer a response to the question that you posed.

Your second paragraph makes the essay lose momentum because it tells the reviewer commonly known information about why people opt to become doctors. You should avoid that. Instead of that paragraph, I would go directly to the paragraph about your grandfather instead. That is a highly influential part of your life that definitely helped to increase your interest in the field. I have just one question though. Where is the response to the question you posed? Why did you decide to attend medical school directly?

In this type of personal statement, you can take the opportunity to explain why you would not pass through the regular hoops of attending medical school such as taking up a major in Biology first. What makes you think that you can go to medical school directly? As far as I know, medical school requires students to first have a strong foundation in Science and Math. Have you already completed pre-medical school studies? I don't think so, otherwise you would not have title the essay "Why Direct To Medical School?" I believe that you should reconsider your application in this case. That is, unless you can prove, with your existing credentials that you do not need to build your foundation for medical school studies first.

Hello,

Thanks very much for the comments. Unfortunately, I wasn't very clear on the prompt. The direct to med school prompt is for another essay. The prompt for this essay is...

Please indicate why you're interested in your chosen profession. How do you see yourself being particularly suited to this field? What events and/or experiences have led you to your choice?

Based off of this prompt, is the essay a little better? I am still working on the why direct to med school essay and I will definitely take your points into consideration.

Hi Serena :-) Listen, the essay that you wrote, when read in terms of the new prompt that you provided, actually makes a lot of sense. So yes, it is applicable to the new prompt. However, you should maybe concentrate less on the eye care aspect of your exposure to medicine and instead try to find a generalized medical situation that you were exposed to. There are two reasons that I believe you should do this.

The first reason is that the particular paragraph that you have which relates to your grandfather and the exposure to his free clinic runs too long. You should either divide it into 2 paragraphs or shorten the content. One long paragraph tends to become hard to read so splitting up the content should really help hold the interest of the reader.

The second, is that you speak only of eye health in that paragraph. You said so yourself in your earlier paragraph that medicine allows you to choose from a variety of specializations. Yet, it seems that you have already centered your medical career on Opthalmology. The essay should really contain a more general discussion of your interest in medicine and how it developed in order to properly support your declaration that medicine interests you because of the many fields that you can enter in order to become a doctor and help people.

Other than that concern, the rest of your essay really doesn't need to be changed in my opinion. However, it might need to change once you revise the essay and I read the new material. Remember, essays were meant to be revised which is why you should start writing it early during your college application :-)

Serena, I can see that you manage to get assistance here on EF quiet well and this is very good, it just goes to show that you are very open to objective criticism and that you value the works of others and the extended help they provide in order for you to come up with a well written essay.

Now, as you can see, the main reason why there is a confusion on your essay is that you missed to follow the prompt, not only on posting it but also

in writing what the prompt is asking you to write. This normally happens when you get soaked into writing what your heart and mind desires, which is not bad at all, however, there is a very crucial aspect in this area that you have to take note of, in cases like, what if you didn't have EF

to look into your mishaps or a second pair of eyes to look into your writing pieces, then you will be in great trouble and more so, you loose your chance

for the GPPA program.

For future reference, review the prompt properly before writing and when you are writing already, make sure that you glance at the prompt form time to time, to give you a reminder of where the prompt should go and if you're doing exactly what the prompt is asking you to do.