Unanswered [2] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Undergraduate   % width   Posts: 3


My grandmother; Common application essay; I have learned many things.



Andross5 2 / 2  
Dec 29, 2012   #1
Throughout life, we meet many people who impact our lives for better or for worse. For me, the person that has set the greatest example for me is my grandmother, Maria Elena Espinosa Medina. This powerful, resilient, and calm woman is the embodiment of what sheer will and the human spirit is capable of. Before she was even eighteen, my grandma had already suffered an eternity of pain. First, she witnessed at an arm's reach how her father was murdered in a mugging, how, due to the illiteracy of her family, she saw crooked lawyers trick her mother into taking a magnificent ranch, and have her baby brother die in a pool. Most people would fall into complete defeat, unwilling to go on in life, but my grandma's devout love for life and God would not allow her to falter. On contrary, my grandma has fought with every inch of her being to keep her and her family healthy and sound. Despite the many obstacles in her way such as a poor education, she made sure her children obtain a better quality of life. Even though she is old now, at the age of 93, she leaves her mark in all of her children and grandchildren she has nurtured. She never lost hope and everyday she is trying her best to have a normal life. She has always been there for me to congratulate me for my achievements and correct me from my mistakes.

From the example set by my grandmother, I have learned many things. I have learned that through valor, resilience, and willpower all obstacles that are thrown at me shall break at my feet. She has taught me to never allow myself to be defeated by the sufferings of life; to never let be consumed by the evils of life. But the most important lesson my grandma has taught me is love for my loved ones, and for all people; for there is already enough hate in the world.

mzontario 9 / 43  
Dec 29, 2012   #2
First, she witnessed at an arm's reach how her father was murdered in a mugging, how, due to the illiteracy of her family, she saw crooked lawyers trick her mother into taking a magnificent ranch, and have her baby brother die in a pool

She witnessed at arm's reach her father's murder in a mugging, the corruption of lawyers who took advantage of her mother's illiteracy, and the death of her baby brother in a pool.

On THE contrary,
'she made sure her children obtain a better quality of life' - example?

She has always been there for me to congratulate me for my achievements and correct me from my mistakes.
^ a bit random

You used the word resilient / resilience twice. Try to find another.

Very captivating story.

:)

Check out my essays?
snibberbit 4 / 11  
Dec 29, 2012   #3
Andross5
Great essay! I agree with the changes suggested above, but the story is great. Your details are great as well and I think your conclusion summed up what you learned from her very nicely. Good luck!


Home / Undergraduate / My grandmother; Common application essay; I have learned many things.
Do You Need
Academic Writing
or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳