Hi
I would really appreciate feedback. My first language isn't english so
I would also be very appreciative of corrections on vocabulary and grammar.
I would be glad to also read your essays if you give me some feedback. Thanks!
UC promt 1:
Describe the world you come from - for example, your family, community or school - and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.
Essay:
I grew up on a small farm which belonged to my grandparents, two hard working individuals. Even though constantly engaged in projects they never seemed to get tired of their labor. They did everything with ardor: whether it was harvesting fields, picking fruits, repairing farm devices or even building or renovating houses. They weren't just great at construction, maintenance or repair, but also at improvisation.
I can still recall that vivid image in my mind when my grandfather, "Opa" as I called him, was trying to get to that top branch of the cherry tree in his backyard. The tree was about 40 feet high and his ladder just about 35. "Opa" thought for a minute and then disappeared. He rummaged in the basement a bit and came back with some utensils. Five minutes later a wiggly, old table stood in front of him, a chair on top, which was vertically extended by a bucket. The bucket served as support for the last bar of his ladder. Soon he dangled in midair trying to grasp the last fruits before the birds would get them. While I was astonished t by this creative solution, people walking by were perplexed by this craziness.
Soon I myself became inspired by the adroitness and creativity of my grandparents and started to implement my own ideas. When I was six I built my first tree house with a balcony and an elevator. Other projects followed like bow and arrows, traps, catapults, shelves or small wooden hideouts, where I often spent hours and even days/nights.
The farm soon became a paradise for me. All the materials and equipment that I needed were available to me, much to the despair of my grandfather whose precious wood was soon diminished. I would spend hours in the dusty barn, with the machines and tools, to draw plans and try to implement them.
The farm was a great place to grow up. It wasn't just a place where my interest to once become an engineer was sparked, but it was also a place of creativity. I had the possibility to give my personal ideas a shape and form. Furthermore it was a place that provided me with a toolkit for life. It showed me that with a little bit of passion, vigor and sense of improvisation about anything can be achieved, whether it's related to mechanical problems or 'problems of reality' and that sometimes it can be worth to go through some struggles in order to reach that top branch of that cherry tree.
I would really appreciate feedback. My first language isn't english so
I would also be very appreciative of corrections on vocabulary and grammar.
I would be glad to also read your essays if you give me some feedback. Thanks!
UC promt 1:
Describe the world you come from - for example, your family, community or school - and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.
Essay:
Reaching for the top branch
I grew up on a small farm which belonged to my grandparents, two hard working individuals. Even though constantly engaged in projects they never seemed to get tired of their labor. They did everything with ardor: whether it was harvesting fields, picking fruits, repairing farm devices or even building or renovating houses. They weren't just great at construction, maintenance or repair, but also at improvisation.
I can still recall that vivid image in my mind when my grandfather, "Opa" as I called him, was trying to get to that top branch of the cherry tree in his backyard. The tree was about 40 feet high and his ladder just about 35. "Opa" thought for a minute and then disappeared. He rummaged in the basement a bit and came back with some utensils. Five minutes later a wiggly, old table stood in front of him, a chair on top, which was vertically extended by a bucket. The bucket served as support for the last bar of his ladder. Soon he dangled in midair trying to grasp the last fruits before the birds would get them. While I was astonished t by this creative solution, people walking by were perplexed by this craziness.
Soon I myself became inspired by the adroitness and creativity of my grandparents and started to implement my own ideas. When I was six I built my first tree house with a balcony and an elevator. Other projects followed like bow and arrows, traps, catapults, shelves or small wooden hideouts, where I often spent hours and even days/nights.
The farm soon became a paradise for me. All the materials and equipment that I needed were available to me, much to the despair of my grandfather whose precious wood was soon diminished. I would spend hours in the dusty barn, with the machines and tools, to draw plans and try to implement them.
The farm was a great place to grow up. It wasn't just a place where my interest to once become an engineer was sparked, but it was also a place of creativity. I had the possibility to give my personal ideas a shape and form. Furthermore it was a place that provided me with a toolkit for life. It showed me that with a little bit of passion, vigor and sense of improvisation about anything can be achieved, whether it's related to mechanical problems or 'problems of reality' and that sometimes it can be worth to go through some struggles in order to reach that top branch of that cherry tree.
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