Prompt: Tell us about the most significant challenge you have faced or something important that did not go according to plan. How did you manage the situation? ( 200-250 words)
Hi everyone! I have trouble with words ( mine is 292 )
Please tell me your opinion about how to change or how to revise.
Which part is not necessary?
My hand was tremendously shaking; my mind was filled with excessive thoughts.
Last summer, I participated at IPhO 2014 as a contestant. Having filled with full confidence and lots of preparation, I was sure that I could get at least silver medal. When I entered the competition hall, I took a deep breath and completely believed myself.
Theory problems were so tough, but after hearing other best students complaining, I was still confident about my performance. Two days later, the experimental competition finally began. First tasks were so easy and had high points. Hence, I started next part quickly and setup equipment as depicted on the picture to avoid certain defection. But real problems were arises. My circuit did not work. I was calling back again and again the advisor to change my apparatus one by one. Both of us got frustrated. We became annoyed. After desperately trying to begin my work, I found that my key of the circuit was broken in first place. I could not concentrate at all, because I wasted my precious 4 of the 5 hours for this thing. I was shocked and decided to give up at that time. Suddenly, I saw that my mother's face in my mind. I made promise to her that I would bring medal and she truly believed my words. If I became the only one who could not get any awards, how could I meet my mother? Therefore, I decided to do what I could in one hour. I became crazy and just focused on my work. Eventually, I overcame myself. Although I did not finish my work, I was still happy at my performance. I got bronze medal. If I had given up, I would have not gotten anything.
Okay, I strongly advice that you change the topic of your essay. Never ever use an essay story that has you coming out as a loser in the end. Always portray yourself as a winner in all aspects in order to build a winning image with the admissions committee. The fact that you gave up and then did not even finish the work is not something you should be presenting to people who hold the key to your college admission in their hands. Try to find another experience in your life. One that had you in a similar difficult situation but where you came out on top because of your patience, perseverance, or determination to succeed. Those are the kinds of essay narratives that catch the attention of the admissions officers. Don't tell us you are a failure, tell us why you succeed and why that trait is something we should pay attention to in your application.
