It would be really nice if I got some help with my essay. The limit is 500. I currently have 456. I don't know if the closing paragraph wraps it up well. I would love some commentary on that and also if you see any grammatical errors please let me know. I'm pretty sure there are some. Thanks.
Describe a meaningful event, experience or accomplishment in your life and how it will affect your college experience or your contribution to the UF campus community. You may want to reflect on your family, your school or community activities, or your involvement in areas outside of school.
If there's anything I regret in life it's the first two years of high school. I had no plans, no motivation, no passion, and not the slightest inclination to do well in school. But in the summer of 2007 I went to Cuba. Though it wasn't my first time there I knew I saw things differently then when I was four or eight. I was aware of the poverty, aware of the lack of food, I listened to the men complain about making un peso a day working in the fields, I saw my cousin walk to school in the hot sun, I lived for three weeks cramped in my grandmothers house and I felt ungrateful. So you can say it was the big epiphany of my life. That summer I realized how unappreciative I was of everything I had back home. I had the tools and capability to do anything and I was letting it all rot there untouched. In Cuba I realized a handful of things I didn't like about myself and I wanted to change it[that, them?]. So I did.
I raised my GPA from a 2.2 to a 2.7, was extensively involved in a club, and cared about every little assignment because by that point every grade mattered. I was knee-deep in work. Sometimes it felt like I was playing catch up against someone who had years of experience in the game. It's a little frustrating when you look at the person next to you who's slacking off because, academically, their grades can afford it. But it's funny what motivates us; A friend, our family, the lives of others, the fear of not succeeding. I knew what I wanted and I was scared of disappointing myself. So I worked harder then I had ever worked before.
I'm going to put this bluntly because that's the only way I can say it: it sucks when you don't know if all the hard work and effort you put into something is meaningless because of the mistakes you've made beforehand. But I'm glad I went to Cuba and even though I wish I had that epiphany earlier and even though I wish I had done better those first two years, one definite and solid thing I've learned from my trip is that you've got to work with what you have even if you don't have much. If I get accepted into UF I know I won't slack off then or at any other point in my life because I want the best for myself and I know I can do better then community college or having to live on a pay-check to pay-check salary for the rest of my life. I know I have more potential then that.
Describe a meaningful event, experience or accomplishment in your life and how it will affect your college experience or your contribution to the UF campus community. You may want to reflect on your family, your school or community activities, or your involvement in areas outside of school.
If there's anything I regret in life it's the first two years of high school. I had no plans, no motivation, no passion, and not the slightest inclination to do well in school. But in the summer of 2007 I went to Cuba. Though it wasn't my first time there I knew I saw things differently then when I was four or eight. I was aware of the poverty, aware of the lack of food, I listened to the men complain about making un peso a day working in the fields, I saw my cousin walk to school in the hot sun, I lived for three weeks cramped in my grandmothers house and I felt ungrateful. So you can say it was the big epiphany of my life. That summer I realized how unappreciative I was of everything I had back home. I had the tools and capability to do anything and I was letting it all rot there untouched. In Cuba I realized a handful of things I didn't like about myself and I wanted to change it[that, them?]. So I did.
I raised my GPA from a 2.2 to a 2.7, was extensively involved in a club, and cared about every little assignment because by that point every grade mattered. I was knee-deep in work. Sometimes it felt like I was playing catch up against someone who had years of experience in the game. It's a little frustrating when you look at the person next to you who's slacking off because, academically, their grades can afford it. But it's funny what motivates us; A friend, our family, the lives of others, the fear of not succeeding. I knew what I wanted and I was scared of disappointing myself. So I worked harder then I had ever worked before.
I'm going to put this bluntly because that's the only way I can say it: it sucks when you don't know if all the hard work and effort you put into something is meaningless because of the mistakes you've made beforehand. But I'm glad I went to Cuba and even though I wish I had that epiphany earlier and even though I wish I had done better those first two years, one definite and solid thing I've learned from my trip is that you've got to work with what you have even if you don't have much. If I get accepted into UF I know I won't slack off then or at any other point in my life because I want the best for myself and I know I can do better then community college or having to live on a pay-check to pay-check salary for the rest of my life. I know I have more potential then that.