Being A Hawk-Peddie Application

Walter Annenberg, one of Peddie's most notable graduates, was known for his creativity and non-traditional approach to business and to life. In that vein of adventure, if you could be someone or something else for 24 hours, what you be and why?

This world is full of different types of animals; there are amphibians, land animals, aquatic animals, and aerial animals. All these different animals have different point of views. If I could be an animal for a day, I would be a hawk, because a hawk is cautious, aware, and they could monitor a prey or other events from a mile away. In addition to that, the hawks have to freedom to fly anywhere they want without restrictions. If I could be a hawk for a day, it would relieve me from all my stress.

A hawk also symbolizes foresight, the ability to see into the future. I could only possess such abilities for one day, I can most likely change the world, prevent negative things from happening. This ability will also allow me to see what we will be learning in the next couple of weeks, which will give me a big advantage, because then, I would be able to study beforehand and get better grades on tests. The ability of foresight will also allow me to plan ahead, and avoid unwelcome surprises. Seeing the future sure gives you a multitude of advantages.

Being a hawk for a day also allows me to travel to places that I have never been to before, such as Brazil, and The United Kingdom. Maybe I can even fly to Antarctica to witness global warming and the ice caps melting. All of these adventures will help me understand the world better, and appreciate the glamour Mother Nature offers. After these adventures, I will have more experience in geography and thus score better on geography tests.

Please check for any errors, and give suggestions please! Will Return Favor (WRF)

Hi :) I can offer some suggestions:

This world is full of different types of animals; there are amphibians, land animals, aquatic animals, and aerial animals.
You could instead say: "amphibians, land dwellers, marine life, and aerial animals. Just ideas.

All these different animals have different point of views. Omit this sentence

If I could be an animal for a day, I would like to be be a hawk, because a hawk is cautious, aware, and they couldcanmonitor a prey or other eventssee from a mile away. In addition to that, Also, the hawks have the freedom to fly anywhere they want without restrictions. If I could be a hawk for a day, it would relieve me from all my stress.

Expand on these ideas, use the this paragraph to be really descriptive- draw the reader's attention. "relieve me from all my stress" sounds odd- You should re-word this phrase.

A hawk also symbolizes foresight, the ability to see into the future.
I know what you mean while you describe the hawk in this paragraph. However, seeing into the future, and foresight-- these words imply that the bird has ESP or psychic powers. So, use your words wisely, be more specific. You are trying to say that the hawk is always a few seconds ahead of what it is hunting, due to its fast-thinking skills. The hawks has to quickly plan its timing just right, in order to strike at the exact right moment. There is no margin for error, or the hawk will lose his meal, which he needs to stay strong. I think these are the sort of metaphors you are trying to explore.

You have chosen a great topic to write about, I wish you luck, and I hope this helps :)

Thank you Jenny, BTW what schools are you applying to?