Help with my Pratt personal statement. (Graphic design)

Personal Statement
Why do you want to attend Pratt and what do you hope to accomplish from your education?

Art has always been a passion of mine. When I was no older than five I would keep myself company with a paintbrush and a canvas. Growing up I would always find myself sitting in the art room at my school trying to find a way I could make a living in a field that was so subjective. About two years ago I discovered the art of graphic illustration and design. Once I realized that this was a type of art that was still very much alive and in demand I knew it was what I wanted to do. Last year, my junior year of high school, I began searching for a collage that would give me the best education to assist me in fulfilling my dream. Last summer I participated in a week long graphic design studio at the Art Institute Of Atlanta. While there I learned much more about the line of work and I was further reassured that graphic design was my calling. My collage search soon led me to the prestigious and well known Pratt institute.

I would like to further my education at Pratt institute because I believe it will help me acquire the skills I need to become a successful graphic designer, prepare me for life after college, and give me the backing I will need for a career. In order to major in Graphic design at Pratt institute I will need to complete a rigorous set of classes that will help me understand design and improve upon my current abilities. I know that these chalanging classes combined with my passion will help mold me into a professional artist, and that is why I welcome the challenge whole heartedly. After collage finding a career should be easier being a graduate of the nationally known and accepted Pratt institute. Pratt is roughly 800 miles away from my hometown in the state of Georgia. There are many schools around and near Georgia that offer graphic design as a major, but none are as distinguished as Pratt. Moving to New York would be a big step for me, but I believe that learning to live so far away from the small southern community in which I was raised will be an adventure that will help prepare me for life like nothing else. New York and Pratt institute alike seem to have an endless amount of opportunities for me, and I do not want to let them pass me by.

I hope to accomplish great things with my Pratt education. In the years after my college graduation I like to picture myself as a successful graphic designer. I would love to create logos and advertisements for both major and minor companies. It is ultimately my wish that I could reach a point of such financial stability in my career that I could use my skill for nonprofit public service announcements. There are many causes that I feel strongly about including international hunger, and the awareness of alternative fuels, and if I can use my skills to help promote and create awareness for these things I will feel as if I am helping out the world in some small way. I have always felt that every person on the planet should try to accomplish something in their life that will be left behind when they are gone. I feel that it is my responsibility as a person to make my life worth something, and to insure that I had a purpose.

(My word count is 582, I think I need to cut some of it down, but I dont know what I should remove.)

Art has always been a passion of mine. When I was no older than five I would keep myself company with a paintbrush and a canvas.----> This seems like a very generic thing to say. Every artist can make that same statement,'art has always been a passion of mine.' It is not very original. Part of the art of composition is to be strong right from the first sentence.

Here is a great first sentence for an essay: Growing up, I would always find myself sitting in the art room at my school trying to find a way I could make a living in a field that was so subjective. ----> right away, this sentence has me interested in the question you raised. I sugest using this as the opening sentence when you do your next revision.

My collage search soon led me to the prestigious and well known Pratt institute.

I feel that it is my responsibility as a person to make my life worth something, and to ensure that I serve a purpose.