Why NYU?
At first I would never had considered NYU. Last year, every junior in my school was required to do a project to prepare for applying to college. My teacher wanted us to do a powerpoint presentation comparing 2 colleges. I picked NYU as one of my schools only because it has my major. As I continued this project, I really started to take it seriously; the amazing city, the people, the programs, the locations. As I stood there in a dark room, the projector on, my shaking voice, I knew this was what I wanted. Everything is so different. It's not a typical college experience. The most appealing part of NYU is the campus, the fact that the campus is not inside gates. The school is part of the city, students learn by being a citizen of the city. I want college to be different from what I have already experienced. I am sure that NYU will not only challenge me academically but also a person.
Regardless of whether or not you have an intended major or concentration, please elaborate on an academic area of interest and how you wish to explore it at NYU's campuses in New York or Abu Dhabi or at one of our global academic centers around the world. Please share any activities or experiences you have had that have cultivated your intellectual interests leading you to choose to study at the NYU campus of your choice.
"So, where are you from?"
The first question anyone asks when you first meet them.
Everyone that asks this question probably expects some answer like: "O, I'm from blank town, it's a few miles away." But I'm not.
I'm hesitant to tell everyone my past because then they will have preset misconceptions that won't let them get to know me as I am.
If they seem harmless, I'll say "I'm from Brazil." And then comes the buckets full of questions that I despise. "But you're Asian! Is your mom Brazilian? Do you speak Brazilian? What are you doing here?"
In my head, I think, "You don't look American. Do you speak American?!"
After experiencing this countless times, I decided I should use my background to my advantage. Everyone dreams of traveling the world, but I dream of learning about the people and cultures of the world. In such a globalized world, we are still so limited in knowing about other cultures. I hope that some day I will influence the way people in different countries interact and not just the governments.
I think that New York is the perfect place to learn about the world. So many people of so many ethnicities call it home. Millions of international businesspeople visit the city every year. From what I have experienced through my short trip and popular culture, New York is like the world shoved into this tiny space. I think that school is very important, but I have to start to explore my environment. Most of high school I have been focused on my grades and never really realized the importance of my environment. I realized that learning indoors is only part of the equation.
I think the Why NYU part needs a little more development.
The first sentence does not make a good impression since you do not explain why you did not consider NYU, this way you make such an attitude sound natural.
Why is NYU different from what you have already experienced?
It seems like you want to much.
You want an unusual introduction, a personal development story, a list for the reasons why NYU is awesome and a ending that reflects your modesty and that you like to be challenged. However, none of this is particularly emphasized, in particular the ending seems just trite without explanation.
My advice is to personalize the fascination NYU has on you.
