Hey, I need help editing this essay, such as grammar, commas, ect. I also feel that the ending is a little weak, what can I do to make it better?
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Ever since I was a little girl, my family held a high regards on my education. As a child I attended private schools, even though my mom was single and was paid minimum wage. My grandparents would occasionally help her with the school and house expense, in order to help with her financial burden. Unfortunately my grandfather died about four years ago from a stroke, and my grandmother died two years later of cancer in the pancreas. Life for me has not been the same, for my grandfather was like a father for me. In was a blow for the rest of the family, both emotionally and financially. We tried to minimize our expenses by going to an excellent public school for the last two years of high school.
I was very fortunate to have been accepted to the University of St. Thomas. It was my first and only choice, I liked everything about it. It's close to home, people are friendly, and the landscape is beautiful. But now I'm faced with a challenge. My mom's business in real estate has not been doing so well, especially with this economic crisis going on. Having worked in a local Blockbuster video Store, I know the value of making money for hard work. I've learned that it is even harder to work when it's on commission and one depends on someone else. I know everyone right now is struggling with their financial situation.
So you might be asking, why am I special? Because I have determination and a goal in mind, I want to study the five year program of accounting where I can get my BBA /MBA. In the long term I hope to become a CPA. But first I need to finish my undergrad years, and for that I need financial support to make this goal possible. I am in desperate need of help, since there is no one to back me up since my grandparents died.
