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"History did condemn those who kept quiet" - Princeton University



P334243 3 / 14  
Dec 29, 2011   #1
Hi everyone. I'm new here, and I just need some opinions on my Princeton essay in response to the following prompt on the supplement.

Thanks in advance1

***Using a favorite quotation from an essay or book you have read in the last three years as a starting point, tell us about an event or experience that helped you define one of your values or changed how you approach the world. Please write the quotation at the beginning of your essay.****

"History did condemn those who kept quiet" in Ten Boys Who Didn't Give In by Irene Howat, and will continue to do so in this world now and in the future.

Whenever I feel like I am stepping in a different direction or I am having a difficult time believing in myself, I think about this quote, and then I remember. I remember that a step is better than none at all; just like the boys in the novel. These ten boys were courageous in calamity, and took great strides to overcome the situation they found themselves in. They refused to keep quiet so that history would not look down upon them. Hence, in persecution for their beliefs, they took hope in the faith they had, and never once, did they imagine giving up for the sake of the suffering they were experiencing. Notwithstanding, their horrendous fate brought upon by those conspiring their downfall, they bestowed upon them benevolence, and leading by love, were able to forgive these people.

The strength of character posed by these young men is extraordinary, and praiseworthy. From their decisions and actions I was able to understand the true meaning of good character, and the above quote makes more patent, the necessity and value of character. I am reminded to do the right things regardless of the consequences; to have strength in the face of adversity; that life is, as much if not more, about others than it is about oneself; and finally to be an honest leader. There is more to be gained in making a difference, and helping those in need, then there is in sitting idly by. Passion in following their faiths was a foundation of the rectitude of these boys. Likewise, I am determined to follow my passions and interests even if they are inconvenient; even if they do not make me wealthy; cost money or friendships; even if no one understands; for there is good in having strength of character.

But my learning experience did not end here. My career aspirations changed slightly at a university's information session, one of several seminars I attended as part of a research program I participated in during the summer. In the past, whenever I was asked what I desired for a future profession, I would respond by saying I wanted to be a doctor. But that changed on this particular occasion because I added international health policy. What uprooted this change was a desire to make a change in the world. Remembering to take courage, and to value taking one little step for a cause just like the boys in the novel, for there's no value in doing nothing; I concluded that since it would be my duty as a medical doctor to serve my community, my perspective of 'community' should now come to include the rest of the world. The world can no longer be thought of as separate, but rather as connected and intertwined. I realized my generation as well as future generations, will never again have the luxury of just looking inwards. We will have to learn new languages, and seek an understanding of different cultures. Not all happenings or events are confined to one region or country. Therefore, I am certain the wise course of direction pertaining to my explorations, should encompass the globe, and that I should seek to educate myself in matters that concern the welfare of those less fortunate, underserved, and neglected.

Why am I so concerned about being condemned by history? After all, it is not as though anyone will be studying my life after I am gone. The reason is that, while no one will be studying my life to find out if it was a good one or not; I will. I will continue to evaluate and learn from my mistakes, because I am determined to lead a noble life for myself and community.

jebhogiaye 6 / 14  
Dec 29, 2011   #2
This is a very strong essay. I think that if you relate the quote to your conclusion at the end of the story, it would be better. But that is only an opinion. The essay is so strong that there is not much to correct.

My career aspirations changed slightly at a university's information session; one of several seminars I attended as part of a research program I participated in during the summer.

I am not sure, but I think a semicolon is used to separate two independent clauses, and the second part is a run-on in that case.

Please look at my essays!
makman09 9 / 86  
Dec 29, 2011   #3
I agree with the upper post about connecting the quote to the ending more elaborately.
The essay is strong. Your voice embodies your values on taking action and avoiding silence. You effectively convey the lesson of the story at a deeper nuance then at the basic moral of the story. You paint an image of your personality and I'm impressed with it.

You definitely connected the quote of the book to you and how it change your experience and what you came to value, and you did all this at a personal and deeper level.

One thing that I would change is elaborate more about the calamity of the world and what you want to do to counter that with international health policy. You were really vague on the calamity and I didn't understand where you were going. Other than that, your essay is great.

Could you return the favor and give my Princeton Supplement a read?
TheN3094 4 / 16  
Dec 29, 2011   #4
I agree with the above post. It is a very well written essay but personally I would like a little bit more of you in there. Maybe say what kind of change you would like to accomplish and how the quote relates to this. Other than than your set. :)

PLEASE HELP WITH MY ESSAYS. THE DEADLINE IS IN 2 DAYS!!! thank youuuuu. :)))
angelserenite 9 / 13  
Dec 29, 2011   #5
"History did condemn those who kept quiet" in Ten Boys Who Didn't Give In by Irene Howat, and will continue to do so in this world now and in the future.

In Irene Howat's Ten Boys Who Didn't Give In , "History did condemn those who kept quiet" and will continue to do so in this world now and in the future.

"even if they are inconvenient;, even if they do not make me wealthy;, cost money, or friendships,and even if no one understands; for there is good in having strength of character" - the ";" placement is awkward

"while no one will be studying my life to find out if it was a good one or not;, I will. I will continue to evaluate and learn from my mistakes, because I am determined to lead a noble life for myself and community."

I really enjoyed the sense of community in the third paragraph and the first two paragraphs were strong in presenting the significance of the quote
shelia1993 4 / 21  
Dec 29, 2011   #6
and then I remember. I remember

Maybe "realize" is better.

Your essay is perfect,really! Good luck!
OP P334243 3 / 14  
Dec 29, 2011   #7
Thanks for your comments. I will make those changes.


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