Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Undergraduate   % width   Posts: 7


History + United world + Greg Mortenson - NYU supplement



liala 2 / 5  
Dec 29, 2010   #1
Please help me with grammar and essay overall.

Please tell us what led you to select both your anticipated academic area(s) of study and the NYU school / college / program or the Abu Dhabi campus. What interests you most about your intended discipline? Mention any extracurricular or non-school-related activities or experiences that demonstrate your interest.

History was always fascinating me.Later I realized that the main part of it is politics. I started to watch news,got into political science program in local university,applied for exchange program and successfully finished it.Politics makes the world move and I want to be mart of that movement.My dream is to be an ambassador of my country,and NYUAD will be the 1st step in it. While building cross-cultural relationships with students,I'll build skills of diplomat that'll help me in the future.

NYU is 'In and of the City' and 'In and of the World.' What does the concept of a global network university mean to you? How do you think studying in New York City, Abu Dhabi, or one of NYU's global sites would change you as a person and equip you to build cross-cultural relationships at NYU and beyond?

NYU shows that the world's united - despite of conflicts, we're still one nation on the globe. In every global site of NYU local culture mixes with NYC atmosphere which makes education unique. The idea of international education always fascinated me. Being among the most outstanding students will be a great challenge and motivation. It'll help me to become a successful diplomat, because difficulties will make me stronger and help to move forward.

If you had the opportunity to bring any person -- past or present, fictional or nonfictional -- to a place that is special to you (your hometown or country, a favorite location, etc), who would you bring and why? Tell us what you would share with that person.

I would bring Greg Mortenson, who provides peace in Middle-East by building schools, to my hometown, Kazan. His work's a perfect example how one man can change someone's life. I'd like talk to him about his understanding of the world and people that influenced him. I'd ask him how he didn't give up when no one supported him. I'd show him how people of different traditions and religions live peacefully in Kazan; I'd share my culture with him while drinking tea and sitting in a mosque in Kremlin.

DemolitionX 4 / 9  
Dec 29, 2010   #2
History was always fascinating to me and l ater I realized that the main part of it i loved was politics. I started to watch news,got into the political science program in my local university,applied for an exchange program and successfully completed it.Politics makes the world move and I want to be a part of that movement.My dream is to be the ambassador of my country,and NYUAD will be the 1st step in it. While building cross-cultural relationships with students,I'll build diplomatic skills that'll help me in the future.
jshah 4 / 12  
Dec 29, 2010   #3
History was always fascinatinghas always fascinated me.Later I realized that the main part of it is politicsI would rephrase that sentence . I started to watch news(might not be necessary) got into political science program in local university, applied for exchange program and successfully finishedcompleted it.Politics makes the world move and I want to be martpart of that movement.My dream is to be an ambassador of my country,and NYUAD will be the 1stfirst step in itto my goal/dream . While building cross-cultural relationships with students,I'll build skills of diplomat that'll help me in the futureNot sure how it fits .

NYU shows that the world'sis united

In every global site of NYUEach of NYU's global campuses/sites

It'll--> It will

I would bring Greg Mortenson, a person who provides peace in Middle-East by building schoolsproviding education(?) , to my hometown, Kazan.

Overall very well written essays with good ideas and insight :)
OP liala 2 / 5  
Dec 29, 2010   #4
thanks
just wanted to ask- is it a bad thing to write it'll instead of it will and etc? will it matter or not?
jshah 4 / 12  
Dec 29, 2010   #5
I'm not sure.. But it sounds better.
If you are pressed for the word limit.. maybe you should stick to it'll
Hope this helps.

And if you could take a look at my new NYU Diversity essay it would great!

Thhanks.
OP liala 2 / 5  
Dec 29, 2010   #6
ok, i'll do it
thanks again!
Ape 1 / 3  
Dec 29, 2010   #7
People normally don't use abbreviation in formal essays like these ones. I think it's better for you to use 'It will' instead of 'It'll'.


Home / Undergraduate / History + United world + Greg Mortenson - NYU supplement
Do You Need
Academic Writing
or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳