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"honored to meet George Washington" - NYU, Person Supplement.



Bukhmmas 2 / 2  
Jan 27, 2011   #1
Hello Guys.

I am really, really running out of time to apply to NYU AbuDhabi I have to finish everything by tomorrow. I would be glad if you correct this for me

If you had the opportunity to bring any person -- past or present, fictional or nonfictional -- to a place that is special to you (your hometown or country, a favorite location, etc), who would you bring and why? Tell us what you would share with that person.

The USA have witnessed a long history full of wars, events and many different presidents, until it got to where it is now. I would bring the father of the nation to D.C to share with him the sublime achievements that US have accomplished and how the capital of the world is now named after him. This man has started this staggering country. Without him, America might never existed. He gave us an example on how to be neutral and great in the same time. I would be honored to meet George Washington.

hgrierson 8 / 11  
Jan 27, 2011   #2
The USA havehas witnessed a long history full of wars, events (what kind of events? be more specific) and many different presidents, until it got to where it is nowto bring it to it's present state . I would bring the father of the nation to Washington D.C to share with him the sublime achievements that theUSUnited Stateshavehas accomplished, and how the capital of the world is now named after him. This man has started this staggering country. Without him, America might never havee existed. He gave us an example on how to be neutral and great inat the same time. I would be honored to meet George Washington.

Things in red are things I would add or change, things crossed out should be deleted and replaced with things in red.

Hope this helps.
ecordo5 4 / 28  
Jan 27, 2011   #3
Hmmm...it's okay. Try adding more details and rememeber to relate it back to you. Explain how he helped established American, doesn't have to be long. Also, add how America is great/not great. Also, give specific examples on how you would show george washington these things.

Thanks and please review my essays
EF_Susan - / 2310  
Feb 1, 2011   #4
The United Stated have witnessed a long history full of wars, cultural changes, and social progress until it got to where it is now. ---Here is a way to improve the grammar and organization of the first sentence.

... achievements that nation has accomplished and how the capital of the world is now named after him. ---It is not the capital of the world! It is the capital of the nation.

:-)

Give some examples of reasons you admire him! What do you know about his accomplishments?


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