Please critique my personal statement. Editing or any sort of related information would be helpful!
I still remember that particular day when as a young girl of eight, I was taken to the hospital by my parents to get the Typhoid vaccine done. I was very scared and made a lot of hue and cry right from the home. But when I entered into the hospital, I forgot my fears and was amazed by the scene. The hospital was full of busy doctors, nurses and patients. As we waited for our turn, my mother explained to me the vaccine's importance. Beside us the parents of a girl who met with a terrible road accident were sitting and praying for their daughter's life. As the doctor came out of the operation theatre and told them that the operation was successful, their faces were radiating with relief and happiness. This is a memory I will never forget, and at this moment I realized my purpose in life was to save people's lives.
Last year grandpa had a severe heart attack. The doctor said that a device called defibrillator had to be implanted. I wondered how a device could make grandpa stay fit. I did a little research on the internet and learned about its working. I was simply amazed. I also read about Biomedical engineering and found it to be very interesting. It was then that I decided to make a career in this field. The way this field bridges Biology with the principles of engineering amazed me and I wanted to study Biology along with Math. But I had already opted for Math, Physics and Chemistry as my main subjects in summer before junior year of high school and couldn't opt for Biology now. This has made me want to know about the human anatomy even more and I learn about it whenever I get time by surfing the internet. This field is the perfect amalgamation of my love for mathematics and my desire to work with machines and know about the human body.
My hobbies are dancing, painting, gardening and reading. Whenever I get free time, be it during vacation or just a few minutes break between studies, I like to indulge in these activities. I have learnt two Indian classical dances, namely Bharatanatyam and Kathak for three years each. I have also learnt ceramic and glass painting. I like making greeting cards and thus learnt the art of quilling during my winter break this year. I also love doing volunteer work and community service. There is an NGO called Bharat Vikas Parishad in India, whose primary objective is to work for the betterment of especially the under privileged sections of the society. I have actively participated in organizing a blood donation camp, in October this year. The NGO organized a weeklong camp to the forests of Chhattisgarh. In this camp, we distributed high yield variety seeds, clothes, books and medicines to the tribals and enlightened them with rainwater harvesting. Through this visit, I learnt about the culture, lifestyle and the hardships faced by the tribal communities. I was also fortunate enough to participate in a seminar that was conducted to spread awareness about women empowerment. I prepared charts and PowerPoint presentations for this event. I also like designing and have taken courses in AutoCAD and CollabCAD (designing software) this summer. All of these activities have evolved both my talents and my skills. I hope to bring these skills and experiences to the college and get the best out of it. I will also try to enhance my skills here.
I think you need to describe your education background a little more. you dedicate the first 3 paragraphs to how you become interested in medical field, make it just one paragraph.
This field is the most perfect amalgamation of my love for mathematics and my desire to work with machines and know about the human body . i don't know but there is something wrong with this part may it should be something like " knowing about ..." or " knowledge of anatomy"
