Human Biology and Community Health, Brown Academic Fields Supplement

Please help me with revisions. I will gladly return the favor!

Why are you drawn to the academic fields you indicated in Question #6? (1000 characters limit)

Indicated academic fields: Human Biology and Community Health

I'm already over the character count! What can I get rid of?
Should I elaborate more on the academic fields?
How can I fix the ending?

I come from a background in which the utmost importance is placed on health and diet. Health has become more than a matter of lifestyle; it has become something I want to know more about, something I want to dedicate my time and effort towards exploring. What I am most interested in studying is how aspects of lifestyle, culture, and healthcare can influence risks in health problems and chronic disease. The impetus behind this interest of mine comes from my grandmother, who became paralyzed by an unforeseen cerebral aneurysm, after years of being healthy. To examine a debilitating health circumstance of this kind, I will have to look at perspectives besides those of the sciences. That is why I am interested in the Human Biology concentration, particularly the Health and Disease program track, and the Community Health concentration. The former concentration integrates the social sciences and humanities with a foundation in biological sciences, which holds relevance to complex, contemporary health issues that are best addressed by multidisciplinary solutions. The latter concentration considers health and healthcare on a much larger scale. Both areas of study fit my initiatives to study human wellbeing.

character count (no spaces): 1,028

firstly I think they count the spaces when they do the character count don't they?

your essay is fine but could use a few adjustments. With a short answer like this, its better to be precise and concise.

contrary to what you are told, adjectives are good but sometimes are not needed. You ain't writing a novel but a short answer on your academic field.

for example

The impetus behind this interest of mine comes from my grandmother, who became paralyzed by an unforeseen cerebral aneurysm, after years of being healthy

can be changed to

Such interest comes from my grandmother, who after years of being healthy, became paralyzed by cerebral aneurysm.

hope it helped. good luck