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Essay on what is important to me (people, places, music)- a concluding paragraph?


latwood83 1 / -  
Jun 18, 2010   #1
Important Things

I have many important things in my life that I could not live without.

From people I know, to places I visit, even the music I listen to all means something to me.
The very first thing that comes to mind when someone asks me what is important to me are the people that are important to me. My sister Krista is by far the best sister I could ever ask for; if I need anything she would be the first person that I go to for help. For example one time I got kicked out of a party at 3am and Krista came to pick me up. She is always there to talk about my problems and help me out. Obviously like any other normal siblings we do argue a lot, but it never lasts for very long. Krista is by far my favourite family member. Another person in my life that is extremely important to me is my nephew Cole. He is one year old and is the cutest baby I have ever seen. Cole can cheer me up even when I am in the worst mood. I remember one time I was having the worst day and nothing seemed to go right. I was being rude to everybody and nothing could make me smile. When I got home from school my sister showed up for a surprise visit with Cole and I instantly got the biggest smile on my face. It is impossible for me to be in a bad mood around him.

Another thing that comes to mind when I'm asked what is important to me are the material things. I could never live without my iPod; I have a different playlist of music for every type of mood I am in. Music makes me happy when I'm upset and sometimes even upset when I'm happy. Every time I get really worked up and upset I block out the world with my headphones. The other day in English class I got so frustrated to the point that I had to leave class. After I left the class I went and sat outside in the sun and listened to music that put me in a better mood. That is only one of many times that music has saved me from myself.

Another thing that is important to me is my laptop. I couldn't go a day without my computer. It is my main communication device. I remember one time I had to go a whole month without a computer and it was the worst time of my life. It was so hard to make plans after school because I don't have a cell phone anymore; and honestly nobody uses landlines anymore. If I am at home, I am usually on my computer. I am always on Skype talking to someone and creeping on Facebook.

Finally, I have certain places that are important to me. One place that is important to me is definitely my bedroom. My bedroom is where I can get away from everyone and everything. When I am having a bad day I just go into my bedroom and lay in bed with my music turned up as loud as it goes. I really enjoy my alone time because I get very irritated with people, especially my family.

t1292 11 / 21  
Jun 18, 2010   #2
It sounds to much like your listing these things it is proper but boring and will not stand out comared to the rest of the essays. (All this I declared just from the first line)

As I read on I begin to question the age of the writer is is very juvenille and at places you seem to rant. Its always good to let yourself shine thru your writting but this sounds like how you would talk in a regular conversation.
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,335 129  
Jun 19, 2010   #3
From The people I know, the places I visit, and even the music I listen to all means mean something to me.
The very first thing that comes to mind when someone asks me what is important to me is a list of the people that are important to me. My sister, Krista, i s by far the best sister I could ...

Very nice!! I like your way of writing. For the conclusion, I hope you'll talk about the way all these material things and people support what is important to you because of the way they enable you to actualize your ideals. Your ideals are also important to you, and they are at the foundation of all this external stuff.

:-)


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