"How have you Improved the Life of others" MIT prompt.

⦁We seek to develop in each member of our community the ability and passion for working collaboratively for the betterment of humankind. How have you improved the lives of others in your community? (This could be one person or many, at school or at home, in your neighborhood or your state, etc.)(250)

the smile on my sweet grandmother's face

Little hope is enough to maintain a smile.
My grandmother's report says, she has cancer. Although From the first memory of her I hardly see any change on her face, but on that day something was missing from her face, A Hope. I went to see her with my mother and I saw many unfamiliar faces there but I have recognized those eyes, resembling the same hopelessness. I felt something pierced my heart and it was painful, I tried to hide my emotions under silence, I didn't talk to anyone that day. I am sad because my grandmother is suffering but why those people were sad? Who has stolen their smiles?

I took the initiative to start a campaign against cancer. I set up the plan into three different levels: Aware, Unite, Attack. My scout troop has conducted many rallies against tobacco, the major cause of cancer. I received support from local communities and they helped me to spread the idea widely. My fellow classmates helped to raise fund for Cancer aid society and Run for health event was also a big success for us. Later, My troop is nominated for Prime minister award.

My grandmother says, No matter How dark is the night, North star will always be there for help It will never leave traveler alone. I am also a traveler and I believe my grandmother is my North star.

I brought the smile back to my sweet grandmother's face, my greatest achievement.
Please tell about errors and sentence structure flaws.

Hi, I really liked your essay, though it does have a lot of grammatical errors. Before I work on those though, I wanted to ask you, who were the "unfamiliar faces"? This was a little confusing - if they were friends and relatives you didn't know, then why even mention them? And then "why those people were sad"? If these are your grandmother's friends and relatives, isn't it obvious why they were sad? Or maybe these are families of other patients at the hospital? In any case, this phrase was confusing to me. I like the North Star sentences, but it sort of seems unconnected to the rest of the essay.

Abishek, you have chosen a topic that is so broad in coverage that you were unable to respond to the final part of the prompt throughout your written work. Nowhere in this touching essay was there an indication of how you helped to improve the life of others in your community. You are reaching for Mars when you should be reaching for the moon. You indirectly being asked to represent a discussion regarding your volunteer activities that have helped those in your community. As a boy scout, you have probably have had the opportunity to make changes or touch the lives of your community members through civic service. Please write something about that. This topic is not really applicable to such a simple essay statement. Remember, you need to have made a difference in the lives of the people you helped. So choose the most memorable one that you can remember, other than this one. Make sure it is simple enough to matter though.

@TJLuschen
Those faces were of other patients.