There's an additional info section for MIT and I was thinking about writing something. THis is what I came up with. should i include the writing, leave it out, or write about something else? is the additional info section even meant for this purpose?
Tryouts for my school's soccer team are only twenty days away and my practice schedule has been vigorous to say the least. Every day I run and practice dribbling, shooting, juggling, and passing drills to help better my game. However, if someone would have asked me about playing and training for soccer ten months ago I would have been in utter disbelief. That's because ten months ago my body was nearly twice as big, I was obese by nearly forty pounds, and my health was declining rapidly.
My journey began in a doctor's waiting room. The usual waiting had already come to pass and at last the doctor entered the room. Little did I know his news would change my entire life. He strictly informed me that my liver was not functioning properly due to my weight and that I weighed far too much for my height and age. If I ever wanted to live a long and healthy life, something would have to change.
To say that his news was daunting is an understatement. I had already tried numerous times to lose the weight but it simply never worked. My body just didn't seem programmed to keep off the pounds. However, I knew that if something didn't change I would never be able to experience the things in life I love like playing soccer or hiking for miles in the misty mountains of China or even live to see the fulfillment of my life, so I began to run.
Everyday after school I would come home and gear up for my daily run around the neighborhood. At first my distances were small. I would barely make five-hundred feet at a slow jog but before I knew it I was running nearly five kilometers every day. With the running came a drastic change in my body. The weight seemed to disappear into thin air. I felt like every stride I took in my running shoes was a step that burned the barriers in life that my excess weight had created.
Ten months later and the changes are remarkable. I've lost nearly ninety pounds since I began running in February and many new opportunities have become available. Now that I could run much more, I was able to begin playing soccer with some people I knew from my school and I learned that I love the game. My weight loss has enabled me to make numerous new friends that I would never have been able to meet outside of a soccer field. The literal loss of half of my mass has made me faster, stronger, and a happier person overall, and now I can't wait for those soccer tryouts at the end of January to finally bring all of my hard work to a culmination.
I like it. It shows overcoming an enormous obstacle, and is very unique. The experience is great- but what have you learned from it, and how has it prepared you for life besides making you slimmer and more athletic? the body is great and captivating, but the conclusion kind of tones it down into a more generic/ less interesting essay. its ok to sound sappy if you make it genuine and not a variation of "from this experience I learned to work hard, persevere, etc." just polish it off a bit and it will be great! good luck!
I think you should include it. But it's ultimately up to you.
People usually don't write about the topic you chose, so I think it shows different side of you.
Good luck!
If you have time, could you help with mine? Thanks :)
