Hey guys!! This is officially my last university application essay:):) Please help me critique it. Thank you!!
Consider the world within. Taste in music, food, and clothing can make a statement while politics, sports, religion, and ethnicity are often defining attributes. Are you a vegetarian? A poet? Do you prefer YouTube or test tubes, Mac or PC? Are you the drummer in an all-girl rock band? Do you tinker? Use the richness of your identity to frame your personal outlook. (200-250 words)
I collect trash. Really I do. I collect trash in the form of empty cereal boxes, old newspapers, and glass jars, and plastic grocery bags. It sounds peculiar my mother is not the biggest fan of my trash collecting ventures but where many see trash, I see potential; potential to transform what many people usually bin, into articles that have proved useful to me.
I have learned not to underestimate the usefulness of the articles I collect. For instance, the glass jars, when filled halfway with layers colorful beads or colored sugar, have not only fulfilled their role as decorative pieces, but have also come in handy as candle holders for when the electricity goes out. And heaven knows that the plastic bag has rescued me enough times from the mercy of unexpected rain showers by acting as a makeshift rain bonnet. In fact, the plastic bag has been more than that. If I cut up a plastic bag into just enough strips, I can sew, sometimes knit, together a small purse. And it is this same purse that I usually carry around with me.
In my cherished pieces of trash, I have found an element of possibility and creativity, that runs wild when released. I draw inspiration from the sights I see and observe. From the objects I touch and feel. From the items I collect and store. An inspiration that pushes me to believe that nothing is impossible if only a bit of creativity is applied.
"fulfilled their role" should be fulfilled their roles (multiple "roles" for multiple items)
Besides that, I like this essay. It seems pretty different and really shows off your creative personality. Your style is also very good. Good luck with getting into Tufts!
"From my cherished pieces of trash, I have found ..." Change in to from in the beginning of the first line of the last paragraph. It will make logical sense. Overall, your essay stands out and is creative. I really like it. Good Luck with Tufts!
