** I have only written the body paragraphs, because I have trouble with an attention grabbing intro and a conclusion... Please be as harsh as possible. I feel like this essay needs a lot of work. I hope to get into Berkeley's school of public health, and want to meet their high standards. Thank you!
What is your intended major? Describe how interest developed through experience.
It was the beginning of my senior year when I was introduced to the concerns of public health. California's senate bill No. 12 regarding school's nutritional standards came into effect, and the food sold in the student store became limited to healthy foods and beverages. I recalled watching students cringe while extending their tongues filled with ruddy pieces of tasteless baked chips, and throwing the leftovers into a trash can. It was no surprise that the sales in the student store fell drastically during the bill's overture. My leadership advisor discussed to our class about the growing concerns of obesity in California, and the significance of the bill in guiding our school to a healthier lifestyle. Our task was to research about the health benefits of the store's products, and present it to our assigned classes during weekly room around presentations. We made sure the athletes know that the low calorie G2 drink has the same amount of electrolytes as the high calorie Gatorade, studious students know the benefit of Planter's peanuts on mental processes, and young food critics know that Quaker's Mini Delights aren't named so tastefully without a reason. Although the store's revenue never returned to its peak, I am delighted to acknowledge that several individuals have welcomed healthy snacks into their diet. Living in a health-illiterate society, even those who worry about their well being would not be able to make the right decisions. My involvement in ASB's efforts to promote health has introduced me to the fine impact of health education. I learned that knowledge is fundamental to providing society with understanding and access to proper utilization of information and services to make the right decision to achieve great health for the body and mind.
As a budding public health advocate, my interest led me to seek further field experience. The day after my high school graduation, I began my first job at a full service radiology center. Every working day, I witnessed patients with different medical cases. A female with a family history of breast cancer performs her annual mammogram, a biker with femur pains receives x-rays, and an elder with throbbing headaches receives a MRI of the head. Regardless of the case, I was presented with another important aspect of public health: the art of disease prevention. By concentrating efforts on prevention, the potential diseases, emotional stress, and cost of treatments will be greatly reduced. Imagine the impact this would have on the health of individuals, families, communities, and the world. Medical imaging and other techniques of disease prevention lead the world in the knowing of the present conditions that is essential for creating a greater change for the future.
What is your intended major? Describe how interest developed through experience.
It was the beginning of my senior year when I was introduced to the concerns of public health. California's senate bill No. 12 regarding school's nutritional standards came into effect, and the food sold in the student store became limited to healthy foods and beverages. I recalled watching students cringe while extending their tongues filled with ruddy pieces of tasteless baked chips, and throwing the leftovers into a trash can. It was no surprise that the sales in the student store fell drastically during the bill's overture. My leadership advisor discussed to our class about the growing concerns of obesity in California, and the significance of the bill in guiding our school to a healthier lifestyle. Our task was to research about the health benefits of the store's products, and present it to our assigned classes during weekly room around presentations. We made sure the athletes know that the low calorie G2 drink has the same amount of electrolytes as the high calorie Gatorade, studious students know the benefit of Planter's peanuts on mental processes, and young food critics know that Quaker's Mini Delights aren't named so tastefully without a reason. Although the store's revenue never returned to its peak, I am delighted to acknowledge that several individuals have welcomed healthy snacks into their diet. Living in a health-illiterate society, even those who worry about their well being would not be able to make the right decisions. My involvement in ASB's efforts to promote health has introduced me to the fine impact of health education. I learned that knowledge is fundamental to providing society with understanding and access to proper utilization of information and services to make the right decision to achieve great health for the body and mind.
As a budding public health advocate, my interest led me to seek further field experience. The day after my high school graduation, I began my first job at a full service radiology center. Every working day, I witnessed patients with different medical cases. A female with a family history of breast cancer performs her annual mammogram, a biker with femur pains receives x-rays, and an elder with throbbing headaches receives a MRI of the head. Regardless of the case, I was presented with another important aspect of public health: the art of disease prevention. By concentrating efforts on prevention, the potential diseases, emotional stress, and cost of treatments will be greatly reduced. Imagine the impact this would have on the health of individuals, families, communities, and the world. Medical imaging and other techniques of disease prevention lead the world in the knowing of the present conditions that is essential for creating a greater change for the future.