Interest, experiences and suitability of engineering - Princeton essay

The first question that came to my mind when I watched the National Geographic documentary of the immense air-bound C-17 was "How did they do it? How does this thing fly? A bunch of smaller planes would be more comforting to the eyes. I was being oblivious to the availing effort of engineers to take a leap further in aviation. From the documentary and some more research I did, I learnt the unimaginable, yet simple concepts of the flight of the juggernaut. To me, what really was intriguing was the complexity of the merging of discrete basic theories, which evolve into a practical masterpiece. That, my dear, is the raw definition of engineering.

I had to do away with the common misconception that complex scientific inventions were too far-fetched for my "feeble" comprehension. From that time on, I took a peculiar interest in cars, helicopters and planes - basically, anything that moves fast. This was before I had started taking physics, chemistry and the bunch, so my interest was based on the fascination of the ideas, not really understanding the 'how.' My interest has shifted from the might of mechanical engineering, to the tiny bits of nanotechnology. My internship in year 11 was a chance to explore my interests. I got posted to a company in Lagos, specializing in civil engineering and architecture. I definitely gained experience, but not interest. Still, I enjoyed learning from the veterans on different building sites I went to with them. I gained transferrable ideas which I could use elsewhere.

Now doing my fourth year of physics, I see engineering not merely as a career, but the interest in, and ability to build on known scientific concepts. After my engineering foundation year at the University of Manchester, I will be more capable of studying engineering as a course. I will be more definite about which path I'll take in engineering and one day, at Princeton, I'll proudly say: "This is how we did it."

It's about 320 words. I think I could use some punctuation help :)
Post ur comments.
Cheers

That, my dear, is the raw definition of engineering. This has potential to make the wrong impression. Oh, I see that name here already said the same thing...

Also... it could express the meaning better. Instead of saying it is the definition of engineering, say something more specific: That process is the art form that appeals to me, compelling me to enter the field of engineering.

This essay must be well written, because it makes me want to get involved with engineering. I think you should revise according to name here's corrections, though. Also, here is a place at the beginning where you need end-quotes" "

The first question questions that came to my mind when I watched the National Geographic documentary of the immense air-bound C-17 was were "How did they do it? How does this thing fly?" A bunch...

:-)

Thanks Kevin! That's encouraging. I'll definately correct these errors.