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"a very intrigued learner" - My strength (Ohio State Application Form)



mozzoloco 3 / 7  
Feb 6, 2011   #1
This is one of the question ( I suppose?) in Ohio State Application Form.
I'm not sure how long I should be answering this question,but I manage to pull around 200++ words.Help me,am I answering the question?I got a feeling that my answer is very vague.

The Question:Consider your talents and strengths, academic and otherwise. What is one thing you do really well?

My Answer:There is one thing that I do best, one thing that gets me going in my everyday social and academic life is seeking for understanding. No matter in what circumstances, understanding, be it a person or a situation would lead us to a better decision on how to think and react with people around us. As a seeker, I see life is an interesting subject. I learn to understand economics and politics in my home country, Malaysia by reading a lot from various sources. Reading enlightens me on what are happening and why did they happen. The meaning of understanding leads me to become mature and not easily to jump into conclusion. This helps me in my studies as well because I will be driven to dig into books and internet articles just to find the answer to a profounding question. For example, when studying modern history of America, I want to know did the native Indians in America succeeded in surviving their ethnicity until today. Those stories about how they gave up the land and how America was geographically formed in the text book was not enough for me. Other than that, the spirit to seek for understanding makes me a better citizen in a multiracial country. Differences should not bring people apart, just like magnet-two opposite pole suppose to attract. I also make myself a very intrigued learner as I began to explore different aspects of life such as music, science and a little wisdom on philosophy.

...and I have no idea to conclude this :|

Help needed! :(

OP mozzoloco 3 / 7  
Feb 6, 2011   #2
This is what I could come out with at this point of time (on how to conclude this answer)

With this spirit, I also make myself a very intrigued learner as I began to explore different aspects of life such as music, science, philosophy and psychology. An easy answer to the question, what is your strength would be-I'm crazy about economics, I'm good in Maths, I play 8 instruments or I can speak in 9 languages. Mine is nothing like that. Human create economics, politics, social classes and philosophy. For me, understanding is the best answer to any instability in this world created by human. Thus by seeking for understanding I would say my greatest strength is my eagerness to

a)integrate differences
b)to find answer to problem
c)to have a strong ground to begin anything with

how can I conclude without sounding so cliche,lame and cheesy? :|

this suppose to be for undergrad admission purpose,but I didn't succeeded in shifting this essay from from grammar to undergrad admission :(
OP mozzoloco 3 / 7  
Feb 8, 2011   #3
Hi Julianne,your comment made me realize how many grammatical error I made.I should have notice that.Sadly I already submitted my application.Thanks for your comment though.:)
EF_Susan - / 2310  
Feb 14, 2011   #4
There is one thing that I do best, one thing that gets me going in my everyday social and academic life, and that is seeking for understanding. ---This does not really mean anything. I think the concept you are trying to say is one that you have to be able to name in a more specific way. Seeking understanding... person, situation... what is it you are really saying?

My favorite sentence: As a seeker, I see life is an interesting subject.

I learn to understand economics and politics in my home country, Malaysia by reading a lot from various sources. ---See, you are biting off more than you can chew. If you say this, you need to show some understanding of the politics and econ.

Reading enlightens me on what are happening and why did they happen Too obvious.

The meaning of understanding leads me to become mature and not easily to jump into conclusion. The meaning of understanding does not prevent people from jumping to conclusions.

Do not misunderstand me. I think you have a great idea. I recognize this problem. You are a profound thinkier and good writer, and because of that you try to explain more than can be explained in a short space. Your way to jump up to the next level as a writer is to get the other half:

The first half is to know how to write beautifully. The other half is to focus what you write so that one essay = one big idea. Do that, and all your skill will drive that idea. It will be awesome. :-) Here, you are trying to cover many ideas. The concept of "seeking understanding" is too big, broad, and vague.

So... get specific about what you are good it. It is something a little more specific than seeking understanding.


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