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U.S. AND IRAN SEEK OUT NUCLEAR DEAL. ISRAEL ENRAGED; EC Essay on MUN Crisis


roxy481 5 / 11 4  
Dec 20, 2013   #1
any feedback would be appreciated. I need this urgently to submit to three schools

prompts:
Briefly elaborate on one of your extracurricular activities or work experiences.
and
Please discuss one of your extracurricular activities that has required a particularly significant time commitment or that has played a meaningful role in your personal development. (Please limit your response to no more than 150 words.)

does it really fit the second prompt? ^

U.S. AND IRAN SEEK OUT NUCLEAR DEAL. ISRAEL ENRAGED.
One day before the conference, and the tables have turned. Time to regroup.
In Model United Nations, I specialize in crisis committees, usually as a delegate to Luxembourg or Russia. I must be prepared to take on a live situation and form a quick solution, whether it is a new international treaty or the KGB storming into UNICEF. Piles of research and possible resolutions are normal for each conference, but receiving live updates during committee makes it all the more interesting. I'm on my toes, ready to change my speech mid-sentence. Each position paper I write, delegate I caucus with, and resolution bloc I join serves to solve the crisis. With my research binder and notepad in hand, I lead an antsy committee to the voting bloc and watch ideas materialize on paper. I become a delegate. I become my country.
AminoPasta 1 / 6 2  
Dec 21, 2013   #2
Given the word limit, I think it's a good essay.
But probably, you could add a few sentences as to why MUN was so meaningful to you and how it helped you develop your personality. From what people have told me, Colleges are more interested in knowing what you gained out of the activity rather than a description of the activity itself.

Cheers! :)
OP roxy481 5 / 11 4  
Dec 21, 2013   #3
thank you!

I revised it a little bit- not too much, because of the word restraints, but hopefully it adds more of a reflection?

U.S. AND IRAN SEEK OUT NUCLEAR DEAL. ISRAEL ENRAGED.
One day before the conference, and the tables have turned. Time to regroup.
In Model United Nations, I specialize in crisis committees. I have to be prepared to adapt to a new situation, whether it's a new treaty or the KGB hijacking UNICEF, and quickly form a solution. Piles of research and possible resolutions are the norm, but receiving live updates during committee makes it all the more interesting. I'm on my toes, ready to change my speech mid-sentence. Each position paper I write, delegate I caucus with, and resolution bloc I join helps to solve the crisis. With my research binder and notepad in hand, I lead an antsy committee into voting and watch ideas materialize on paper. In MUN, anything is possible, and for two days, I am no longer (my name). I am a delegate. I am my country.


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