Hi. I'm new to this forum, but desperately need help. If anyone is willing to edit my Short-Answer for the common app (150 words max) that would be great. This is a rough draft so grammatical mistakes are off the walls. Any feedback (even if it's harsh) is really appreciated. Thanks :)
"What's nine plus seven Amanda?" I asked sitting on a small, wobbly stool. The nervousness in my voice as I asked her that simple question disappeared when she hastily replied, "Sixteen!" Grinning, she knew the answer was correct, but was waiting for a nod of approval. Satisfactorily, I nodded my head and the grin on her face turned into a beautiful smile.
I recall this moment, which occurred about a year ago. It was my second day on the job at the Kumon Learning Center, an academic enrichment program. After working with Amanda for a year, she is now able to tackle long division problems. Throughout this year, I have felt more like a student at Kumon because I have learned the importance of crafty explanations, patience, and hard work. The relationships I have developed with students and their parents have allowed me to realize the importance of giving. After all, education is the greatest gift of all.
"What's nine plus seven Amanda?" I asked sitting on a small, wobbly stool. The nervousness in my voice as I asked her that simple question disappeared when she hastily replied, "Sixteen!" Grinning, she knew the answer was correct, but was waiting for a nod of approval. Satisfactorily, I nodded my head and the grin on her face turned into a beautiful smile.
I recall this moment, which occurred about a year ago. It was my second day on the job at the Kumon Learning Center, an academic enrichment program. After working with Amanda for a year, she is now able to tackle long division problems. Throughout this year, I have felt more like a student at Kumon because I have learned the importance of crafty explanations, patience, and hard work. The relationships I have developed with students and their parents have allowed me to realize the importance of giving. After all, education is the greatest gift of all.