Johns Hopkins outside of school essay- "Music is my life"

A Typical student at Johns Hopkins spends less than 15 hours each week in a classroom, leaving lots of time for volunteer opportunities, clubs and organizations, athletics, social events, and other on- and off-campus activities. Aside from the academic interests you've already expressed, in what activities do you plan to engage as an undergraduate at Johns Hopkins?(250 words maximum)

I have come to the sad realization that music is my life. When I say this, I have two different definitions in mind. First, I mean that I have no social life because of music. We'll return to that later. Second, and more importantly, I mean that I basically live and breath music. I am the sort of person who can't hold a pencil without using it as a drumstick.

This is because of the fact that high school has formed me into a "band geek". Ever since freshman year, I have been involved in marching band, jazz band, and wind ensemble. To translate, that is two classes plus 18 hours a week outside of school. The great majority of my friends are in band and I spend a lot of time talking about music. It is little surprise that I have become practically unable to think of anything other than music and school.

Therefore, this is what I plan to do with my spare time at Johns Hopkins. Time permitting, I would love to participate in the pep band, jazz band, wind ensemble, and at least one a capella group.

I have 191 words here. I definitely have a LOT of space to , but I don't know where else to go with it. Does this make me look two-sided? What else should I talk about?

Hey Brianna,

This is a really good start to your essay. Since you are looking about somewhere to go with this, I would recommend talking about why you live and breath music, what got you hooked, why you want to continue these activities, or even what you plan to do as a member of these ensembles.

Also, on a somewhat unrelated note on tone, I would back away from the "My life is below average" tone from the intro paragraph and lean towards the tone you begin to delve into later in essay.

I think this is a good start to a good essay, however, I have one question -

What are you hoping to major in at Johns Hopkins? If it is something other that music, I think an essay about how you cant think about anything but music may be a bit offsetting to admissions officers. Maybe you could spin it like "music is how I enrich my life outside of school" or something like that.

Cool Brianna, this made me laugh... it is funny to talk about having no social life... and to talk about it as though you are giving a lecture.. ha hahaha...

When you write a compound sentence, you should use a comma:
The great majority of my friends are in band, and I ...

Therefore, this making music is what ...

Nice... But you need to add more? How about giving this a theme> It is not enough to just answer the question. You need to make them remember you. The humor did accomplish that, but a great, unforgettable theme will be even better. I think you can go on to explain the way it is to have no social life, and then explain how you will try to use music to solve that problem, which it also causes. :-)