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"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step" essay for Hillsdale College



catchingfire 1 / 1  
Jan 16, 2013   #1
Hi Everyone! please give me your honest input.

Discuss how an event, novel or experience has significantly influenced you or has changed your life.

"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step" this quote has always inspired me to reach for the impossible. I am naturally not a very outgoing person, but over the past few years, I have worked very hard to change that aspect of my personality which has lead to many opportunities for personal achievement.

My first step was recognizing my problem and realizing I needed to change. I wasn't taking any risks and my comfortable familiar routine was getting boring, and depressing. I had to take a risk and try something completely new; and after much thought, I decided that meant getting a job.

My sister worked at an indoor play cafe for kids called the TreeHouse. I had always planned on getting a job there, but never had the courage to actually send in my resume. One day in May she told me they were hiring, and if I wanted to apply, I had to do so that week. Although it seemed scary, I knew I needed to if I wanted to step outside my comfort zone. So I sent in my resume and was called in soon after for an interview. I ended up getting the job! Even though I was excited and proud that I had made an important step toward my goal, I was a bit scared about the challenges this job would bring.

During the first few weeks of my new job, I was very shy and quiet. Everyone who worked there besides me went to school together, and had known each other for years. I had nothing in common with them other then my job, and I wasn't the type of person to join in on a conversation! Again I pushed myself to expand my comfort zone because I didn't want to be like that. After awhile, I became more confident and actually enjoyed working with other people and interacting with the customers. I started hosting birthday parties; a privilege only the top employees get.

Becoming more outgoing has drastically changed my perspective on life. I view new experiences as opportunities instead of frightening situations. I am much more comfortable talking to strangers then before, and while I know I will never become the most outgoing person around, I have come a long way from that first step!

dumi 1 / 6795  
Jan 16, 2013   #2
"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step" this quote has always inspired me to reach for the impossible.

Well.... I was misguided as I read this quote (and you claiming that it inspired you) that you have mistaken chosen a quote for this discussion instead of event, novel or experience. So I feel you better not start with this quote. It kinda distracts the reader.

I am naturally not a very outgoing person, but over the past few years, I have worked very hard to change that aspect of my personality which has lead to many opportunities for personal achievement.

I guess this is a better starting point :)
OP catchingfire 1 / 1  
Jan 16, 2013   #3
Ok, thank you! I agree it doesn't really fit with the rest of the essay. Other then that, what do you think of the essay as a whole?
Didgeridoo - / 289  
Jan 16, 2013   #4
Discuss how an event, novel or experience has significantly influenced you or has changed your life.

It's a solid essay, but you spent a lot of time talking about how you were shy, and then explaining getting the job, but you have to write more about how you are different now.
Pahan 1 / 1824  
Jan 16, 2013   #5
Hmm I like the way you write. But you have started with a quote. I wouldn't exactly call it an experience that changed your life. Plus you spend too much time talking about other stuff. You should write more on how you changed as a person after getting the job.


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