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"I knew that was the right major for me." - Stanford



vincentcanlas 6 / 21  
Dec 31, 2009   #1
Hi there! I wrote another essay on Stanford's prompt: Tell us what makes Stanford a good place for you.

It may seem similar to the previous one I wrote but this one is more personal in some sense.

I do not know how it sounds to you, the readers. I am in dire need of HELP from anyone. Thank you in advance :)

"Watch me going to Stanford in three years," I utter to my best friends, Dick and Jeff, in the Philippines.

"Well, wait for me to step on Harvard's entrance," Dick states.

Jeff bids: "I'm going to Yale."

It was a conversation where nobody was serious.

Three of us knew we weren't going to those colleges in the future nor neither of us was going to the United States. We were set in going to universities inside of our country.

Being in a private, Christian school for eleven years, each of us grew up having a vision of our own. I envisioned myself in one of the most prominent colleges in the Philippines, Ateneo de Manila University, taking up an honors program, Management Engineering. It has been known that the college only offers the major to students who seek better organizational and analytical skills in a socio-political and economic environment.

I knew that was the right major for me.

However, just months later, all those thoughts and plans started to falter as I migrated to the United States. I didn't know anything about the country I was about to enter. I knew, however, I had time to research about prospective colleges. When I talked to one of my teachers about my previous plans, he told me about Stanford's Management Science and Engineering. It just sounded much like what I had planned to take in the Philippines. What sparked me is that both programs provide the students training in facing the scientific aspects of problem solving and decision making. That strengthened my guts that it was the best choice for me to push through after high school.

I became more prepared in taking on the challenges Stanford has to offer me-to further unleash my inner abilities in facing the real world. Now, I can look back and say that the conversation I had with my friends can actually come true.

cz1721 - / 2  
Dec 31, 2009   #2
Hey,
thanks for answering my question.
I think it's a great response to the question but I have 3 main suggestions.
1. the intro is interesting, yet try and connect it with the rest of the paragraph
2. explain more about why you want to do management engineering
3. you say you talked to one of your teachers, who was he/she? be more descriptive in what truly intrigues you about this specific program at Stanford and maybe even how it's better than the one in the Philippines and what you know about it.

hope that helps,
best of luck and happy new year:)


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