I had to just crank this essay out of my already exhausted brain so I don't know if it is any good. It's a BIT (haha) short.. like as in 339 words when I need 500. But I feel like if I add anymore, it'll ruin what I wanted to say. Anyone care to give me some comments? I would love to read your essays as well!!
A.French novelist Anatole France wrote, "An education isn't how much you have committed to memory, or even how much you know. It's being able to differentiate between what you do know and what you don't. What don't you know?
With the world's population at 6,792,958,625 , I am but a mere speck, so infinitely small-almost invisible. Once again, I am humbled at the vastness of what I don't know. What the human race has brought us, what our advanced technology has discovered cannot be compared to the immeasurable amount of knowledge that has yet to be grasped.
I don't know what my future will hold-would I be able to achieve my dream to be a doctor and a diplomat? Would I be able to keep my promise to give that little boy in Kenya some decent bandages and a splint for the dangling piece of rotting flesh that was his leg, or would it be just empty words-meaningless and futile? I cannot even begin to comprehend the unrelenting poverty that has trapped this world. Why wasn't I born in some remote place without food, without water, and without hope? Why was I given this life of luxury and comfort while millions others struggled to survive each day? Would I even be able to live 'til the next day? Even if I did fulfill my dream, how would I, a little girl who knows nothing, be able to change the world? Would I even make the smallest difference in this world.
It is because I do not know this much that I am but a tool. Just as Mother Teresa had said, "I am a little pencil in the hand of a writing God who is sending a love letter to the world.", I am merely a small, but sturdy pencil. All I can do is make sure that I'm freshly sharpened and prepared for Him to grab onto and write. It's not me that needs to know everything-for it is He who knows all and sees all from above-I just long to leave His mark on the letter, and on the world. And as long as he keeps writing with me firmly in His hands, I have known all that I needed to know.
With the world's population at 6,792,958,625 , I am but a mere speck, so infinitely small-almost invisible. Once again, I am humbled at the vastness of what I don't know. What the human race has brought us, what our advanced technology has discovered cannot be compared to the immeasurable amount of knowledge that has yet to be grasped. - the sentences of the intro say more or less the same thing, why not reducing them?
Even if I did fulfill my dream, how would I, a little girl who knows nothing, be able to change the world? Would I even make the smallest difference in this world. - I seriously doubt that modesty is very praised by adcoms. So, you'd better replace that "a little girl who knows nothing" with something not that strong, but that still conveys the meaning.
I am merely a small, but sturdy pencil. All I can do is make sure that I'm freshly sharpened and prepared for Him to grab onto and write. - love this part, very original
Hope I helped a bit. I would appreciate if you could help me with my JHU essay and my Carleton supplement, if you have time? :)
Good luck in your applications!
thanks poison ivy~~ I'll be sure to keep your words in mind when I edit it.
sure I'll read it.. if I can find them from the WHOLE mess of application essay threads!!
Oh you're welcome :) I'd be happy to read the edited version to, when you have it.
About my essays, you can find them by clicking on my name and looking at my posts, hope you will have time for it :)
With the world's population at 6,792,958,625approximately six billion (it would be incorrect to post the numbers you have as the world's population is never constant- someone is being born/dying as we speak) , I am but a mere speckgrain in the sand (i feel this is a more powerful comparison), so infinitely smallinfinitesimal(funny enough, this word is like combining the two) -almost invisible. Once again, I am humbled at the vastness of what I don't know. What the human race has brought us, what our advanced technology has discovered cannot be compared to the immeasurable amount of knowledge that has yet to be grasped.
I don't know what my future will hold-would I be able to achieve my dream to be a doctor and a diplomat? Would I be able to keep my promise to give that little boy in Kenya some decent bandages and a splint for the dangling piece of rotting flesh that was his leg, or would it be just empty words-meaningless and futile? I cannot even begin to comprehend the unrelenting poverty that has trapped this world. Why wasn't I born in some remote place without food, without water, and without hope? Why was I given this life of luxury and comfort while millions others struggled to survive each day? Would I even be able to live 'til the next day? Even if I did fulfill my dream, how would I, a little girl who knows nothing, be able to change the world? Would I even make the smallest difference in this world.
It is because I do not know this much thatWithout this knowledge, I am but a tool. Just as Mother Teresa hads said, "I am a little pencil in the hand of a writing God who is sending a love letter to the world.", I am merely a small, but sturdy pencil. All I can do is make sure that I'm freshly sharpened and prepared for Him to grab onto and write. It's not me that needs to know everything-for it is He who knows all and sees all from above-I just long to leave His mark on the letter, and on the world. And as long as Hh e keeps writing with me firmly in His hands, I have known all that I needed to know.
Nice writing, I hope my suggestions are useful!
haha, definelty a cool essay...just think that at one spot 'Him' the h is capitilized...shouldn't it be lowercase. Well its god we're talking about so who knows?
I don't know about you, but if is me, I would start writing stuff like...em..."however small I am, with the knowledge that I've learn from this college, I am still able to change the world with my speeches or saving a patients life."
Em...that is a suggestion...I hope it helps :D and I hope you get in to Brown
My only concern with this essay is that I've already read more than five essays very similar to this( friends, essayforum, etc etc). However, the genuine tone of the essay may be a big plus. Also, as others have stated, your use of metonymy( the pen) is very coherent and original. GL
