Hello, this is my second draft completely rewritten for an application as an Undergraduate to U.T. Austin. Please tell me what would you change, add, or remove and why. Thank you so so much! :)
Knowledge is useless if it is not shared with the world, because what use can we give to it if we keep it for ourselves? Especially if we are talking about something as beautiful as Physics, the study of nature itself; how things work from the smallest to the largest realms of reality, why are things the way they are? I assert that education is the foundation of every citizen of every country, and that is why I am committed to become a researcher and professor along the way of finishing my doctoral studies, and I know that I need the best guidance possible to become a great researcher and professor, which is why I am applying to UT Austin. I believe that because of my conviction and efforts I am a really adequate student that would fit with the university's mission of excellence in education, research and public service.
Since I started college I looked for any opportunity I had to start obtaining experience to achieve my goals, whether in the field of research or teaching, as I did not want to wait until I had finished my degree. Nevertheless, I was told that I would not be able to, as I was just a freshman and had to gain more experience. I decided that I would take as many courses that would help me as possible, and do my greatest effort in getting good grades in them. I was able to complete my first 40 credits the first year and making it to the Dean's List. My effort was paying off and I was recommended as a model student to be a tutor for the Physics department and, one month later, as a Teaching Assistant; where I have really enjoyed being able to help other students understand a hard topic such as Physics, and I hope I will be allowed to continue these activities while I continue my degree. In addition, I was given the opportunity to participate in an honors research course with Dr. Ferrer this current semester.
I aspire to be a model professor for young scientists like myself right now. All of the best professors I have had at U.T. El Paso have one same constant, which is that they always assist me to take good decisions regarding how to complete my goals and all of them have told me to challenge myself and always try to obtain the best instruction available, which took me to apply at U.T. Austin. I know that at U.T. Austin I would be able to receive the best quality of education from a top research university and professors the caliber of Dr. Chiu, whose research involves my favorite Physics branches: particle, high-energy and theoretical Physics. Nobody can work completely on its own, which is why I volunteer to help other students even though I am no longer a tutor, and that is why I appeal to you: to give me the opportunity to receive great guidance to become the best student, professor and researcher I can be at U.T. Austin.
Knowledge is useless if it is not shared with the world, because what use can we give to it if we keep it for ourselves? Especially if we are talking about something as beautiful as Physics, the study of nature itself; how things work from the smallest to the largest realms of reality, why are things the way they are? I assert that education is the foundation of every citizen of every country, and that is why I am committed to become a researcher and professor along the way of finishing my doctoral studies, and I know that I need the best guidance possible to become a great researcher and professor, which is why I am applying to UT Austin. I believe that because of my conviction and efforts I am a really adequate student that would fit with the university's mission of excellence in education, research and public service.
Since I started college I looked for any opportunity I had to start obtaining experience to achieve my goals, whether in the field of research or teaching, as I did not want to wait until I had finished my degree. Nevertheless, I was told that I would not be able to, as I was just a freshman and had to gain more experience. I decided that I would take as many courses that would help me as possible, and do my greatest effort in getting good grades in them. I was able to complete my first 40 credits the first year and making it to the Dean's List. My effort was paying off and I was recommended as a model student to be a tutor for the Physics department and, one month later, as a Teaching Assistant; where I have really enjoyed being able to help other students understand a hard topic such as Physics, and I hope I will be allowed to continue these activities while I continue my degree. In addition, I was given the opportunity to participate in an honors research course with Dr. Ferrer this current semester.
I aspire to be a model professor for young scientists like myself right now. All of the best professors I have had at U.T. El Paso have one same constant, which is that they always assist me to take good decisions regarding how to complete my goals and all of them have told me to challenge myself and always try to obtain the best instruction available, which took me to apply at U.T. Austin. I know that at U.T. Austin I would be able to receive the best quality of education from a top research university and professors the caliber of Dr. Chiu, whose research involves my favorite Physics branches: particle, high-energy and theoretical Physics. Nobody can work completely on its own, which is why I volunteer to help other students even though I am no longer a tutor, and that is why I appeal to you: to give me the opportunity to receive great guidance to become the best student, professor and researcher I can be at U.T. Austin.