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"a Korean-American in a Hispanic community" - a community in which you belong



jimmyajja 2 / 1  
Dec 13, 2010   #1
Everyone belongs to many different communities and/or groups defined by shared geography, religion, ethnicity, income, cuisine, interest, race, ideology, or intellectual heritage. Choose one of the communities to which you belong, and describe that community and your place within it.

The essay is supposed to be around 250 words and this is 277. I have a hard time wording things so if you have a better way of wording something please let me know.

Life as a Korean-American in a Hispanic community is far from complacent. Growing up in the predominantly Hispanic city of El Paso, it has been difficult for me to integrate myself in a specific social group. In school, most of my friends are either Hispanic or Caucasian. I have fraternized with Hispanics and Caucasians most my life, and being cultured in this community I, have begun to see myself slowly acting like them. I abhorred my roots as a Korean and I neglected other Asians for I feared my American friends would isolate me from their groups. "Fiestas" and "quinceneras" playing momentous roles in their lives, I often found myself attending such events. I was usually the only Asian, and walking through the doors into the parties, I would receive inimical stares. The students would transmit cryptic messages on how I did not belong, and I, the conspicuous foreigner, would pretend it did not faze me. Cultivated in an austere environment at home, life at school refuted the teachings implemented, as a child, from my parents. This led me to live up to double standards, beguiling my parents and friends. Trying to meet up to two different culture standards is hard. But as I grew older, my parents became more accepting to the western culture and my friends more accepting to my Korean heritage. To say that growing up in a community where my culture clashed with my life was hard is an understatement. But through this I have come to understand and incorporate the quote "Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You" - Dr. Seuss

Oleh 5 / 32  
Dec 14, 2010   #2
Never ever end with a quote.
Although your Dr. Seuss quote is fitting with your writing, ending with a quote, untouched, not backed up by your own thoughts and wo rds, is not a good choice.

If you really want the quote, at least put it before your last sentence. Or you could take it out to help out to get rid of extra words.

Other than that, I liked your topic. Interesting to read about a foreigner living in a foreign community lol. You explained very well. Good job.


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