Please give me some feedback on my Common App essay.
Thanks.
Discuss some issue of personal, local, national, or international concern and its importance to you.
Thursday is a tiring day; it's the day before Friday, which is the day when all my classes seem to be a breeze because it's the end of the week and the weekend is just around the corner. Thursday is a tall brick wall I have to scale every week to reach Freedom Friday, as I like to think of it. But there is one thing about Thursday that I enjoy very much. Let me run you through it.
At 3 p.m. I make my way to the school bus bay and board a mini-van where I plop down at the back and doze off. I usually wake up half an hour later as the air conditioning turns off and the mini-van's engine stops rumbling. I then march outside onto the tarmac, armed with an all-in-one board game and sports gear. This is Boys' Town.
Boys' Town is a charitable institution for boys with troubled backgrounds, usually involving separated parents, financial troubles and learning difficulties. As part of my school's social service program, every Thursday I go to their campus with 8 to 10 students and a teacher. Over there I get to meet some of the most promising children who have very diverse talents, ranging from playing soccer to singing to body building. My task is simply to interact with the boys through board games, sports and other such activities. At first, I found it extremely difficult to crack their introverted personalities and communicate with them. With each week I got to know the boys a bit better and I soon figured out that sports was the key to their hearts. At the bounce of a soccer ball the boys' heads would cock up, like a fox tracking a scurrying field mouse. A horde of the younger ones would make a mad dash for the ball, each vying for the opportunity to show off their talents. When I grabbed the ball I also grabbed every kid's attention and thus was able to get to know them better.
My peers and I played several soccer matches at Boys' Town, facing off against a group of youngsters around the age of 10 to 13. Now, our team had fairly competent athletes with good ball skills and all but what we witnessed on the pitch put us to shame. Like a well-oiled machine, they made quick work of our defense and picked apart our offensive plays with great ease. Their unspoken communication and awareness of their surroundings was particularly impressive, exemplified by frequent back-heel passes and no-look passes.
It was truly inspiring to watch the children in their domain, their intense expressions showed their level of concentration and focus. At the same time I was saddened, knowing that these children hadn't had the chance to showcase themselves in mainstream schooling. Despite their joyful exterior, I was informed that the children often run away and get depressed. The lack of parental love and support is probably the reason, something I can't fix. Therefore, I feel that it is my duty to do as much as possible to bridge this emotional gap and prepare the boys for their adulthood. Now I realize the true purpose of our interactions with the boys, it's much more than board games and sports, its building lives.
Thanks.
Discuss some issue of personal, local, national, or international concern and its importance to you.
Thursday is a tiring day; it's the day before Friday, which is the day when all my classes seem to be a breeze because it's the end of the week and the weekend is just around the corner. Thursday is a tall brick wall I have to scale every week to reach Freedom Friday, as I like to think of it. But there is one thing about Thursday that I enjoy very much. Let me run you through it.
At 3 p.m. I make my way to the school bus bay and board a mini-van where I plop down at the back and doze off. I usually wake up half an hour later as the air conditioning turns off and the mini-van's engine stops rumbling. I then march outside onto the tarmac, armed with an all-in-one board game and sports gear. This is Boys' Town.
Boys' Town is a charitable institution for boys with troubled backgrounds, usually involving separated parents, financial troubles and learning difficulties. As part of my school's social service program, every Thursday I go to their campus with 8 to 10 students and a teacher. Over there I get to meet some of the most promising children who have very diverse talents, ranging from playing soccer to singing to body building. My task is simply to interact with the boys through board games, sports and other such activities. At first, I found it extremely difficult to crack their introverted personalities and communicate with them. With each week I got to know the boys a bit better and I soon figured out that sports was the key to their hearts. At the bounce of a soccer ball the boys' heads would cock up, like a fox tracking a scurrying field mouse. A horde of the younger ones would make a mad dash for the ball, each vying for the opportunity to show off their talents. When I grabbed the ball I also grabbed every kid's attention and thus was able to get to know them better.
My peers and I played several soccer matches at Boys' Town, facing off against a group of youngsters around the age of 10 to 13. Now, our team had fairly competent athletes with good ball skills and all but what we witnessed on the pitch put us to shame. Like a well-oiled machine, they made quick work of our defense and picked apart our offensive plays with great ease. Their unspoken communication and awareness of their surroundings was particularly impressive, exemplified by frequent back-heel passes and no-look passes.
It was truly inspiring to watch the children in their domain, their intense expressions showed their level of concentration and focus. At the same time I was saddened, knowing that these children hadn't had the chance to showcase themselves in mainstream schooling. Despite their joyful exterior, I was informed that the children often run away and get depressed. The lack of parental love and support is probably the reason, something I can't fix. Therefore, I feel that it is my duty to do as much as possible to bridge this emotional gap and prepare the boys for their adulthood. Now I realize the true purpose of our interactions with the boys, it's much more than board games and sports, its building lives.
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