I've been working on many essays at the times, trying to figure out which one is more like me and more appropriate. I am in a bad shape because none of them quite stands out. So please give me some feedback on all of my essays (if you guys have some spare time and bored) so I could kindda convey some ideas. Thanks a lot. =]
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If today was my last day, I am indeed throwing it away to write up this essay to a person who I'll never meet, to whom this essay might be just another cliche piece of writing to put on the R(ejected) pile. But I presume, life is more than successes or failures; it is a given adventure that one could only live once. So I ask myself: How would I live it?
The "last day" is just a hypothetical situation. I assure you that I have no intention to commit suicide, for I believe it is the most idiotic thing to do. Everybody says that one only has one life, so live it right, and giving up so soon is not a wise way I reckon. Now, if only one day was left, how should I live it? Eighty six thousand four hundred seconds, one thousand four hundred and forty four minutes, twenty- four hours, one day. I thought I needed a plan for every second, so I wouldn't waste any. Then I think about my life, which is nothing more than just a day in the time frame of mankind's existence. Then it hit me, how could I be sure I would make no mistakes in the attempt of doing anything? I was afraid to ruin my only chance because I thought and knew too much. I didn't want to step forward, because I didn't want to fall. I had always been chasing after a so-called meaningful life, which must reach some certain criteria (set by whom I am clueless about) and forgot occasionally who I was and what I was living for. In my dreams, I longed for Mozart's passion for music, I wanted to be in love blindly like Romeo and Juliet. Once in my life I wanted to feel something so utter, so strong that I could make the world fade away and just live. Yet, I was scared to let my only chance flow with some fantasies that might not exist, to walk into the darkness with no instructions. I was scared to live.
But, "Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use" (Wendell Johnson). I can never be the next Mozart. Wrong. The norms are always right. Totally wrong. One could not know how to live right without failures. Even though I'm not the smartest, brightest, or whatever kids with incredibly high IQs are called nowadays, I believe my achievements are, too, valuable. I remember the first time I skated, I fell until bruises on my knees could be seen from fifty meters away, literally, to skate two meters without falling. Every time I failed, I stood up to try once more. What would it be if I didn't try, what if I was afraid of not being able to skate? I would always stand look at those successful skaters and ask: "What if I tried?" I am telling you, I live to create my own history, either to be remembered or not. My life is not comparable, because no one could ever have a life that is better, or to be precise, similar to mine in any way. To write this, I sat down and thought through my whole life and its meaning like I never did (maybe I never really did) and concluded that my life is more than just an essay or going to college. It's hidden in the numbness when I see homeless kids in the street begging for money, the happiness of seeing my one-year-old cousin learning her first step, or listening to her first word; the crazy sleep-over with insane painted-faces...Someone once said one's life has no meaning at all, and I decide it is me who gives mine one.
For one true fact, I could never know that "today" beforehand. In fact, no one does. I do not want any moment for regret, asking the "What if" questions. To get what I want I have to go out there and try to grab it. Failures don't mean my life's over, it teaches me determination and having faith in what I do. It could happen that I'll get accepted to all universities and colleges in my list and won't be there to yell in tears of excitement, or I'll get rejected by all and begin walk on another direction. Maybe colleges and universities are not where I belong, but it would not hurt to find out, would it?
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If today was my last day, I am indeed throwing it away to write up this essay to a person who I'll never meet, to whom this essay might be just another cliche piece of writing to put on the R(ejected) pile. But I presume, life is more than successes or failures; it is a given adventure that one could only live once. So I ask myself: How would I live it?
The "last day" is just a hypothetical situation. I assure you that I have no intention to commit suicide, for I believe it is the most idiotic thing to do. Everybody says that one only has one life, so live it right, and giving up so soon is not a wise way I reckon. Now, if only one day was left, how should I live it? Eighty six thousand four hundred seconds, one thousand four hundred and forty four minutes, twenty- four hours, one day. I thought I needed a plan for every second, so I wouldn't waste any. Then I think about my life, which is nothing more than just a day in the time frame of mankind's existence. Then it hit me, how could I be sure I would make no mistakes in the attempt of doing anything? I was afraid to ruin my only chance because I thought and knew too much. I didn't want to step forward, because I didn't want to fall. I had always been chasing after a so-called meaningful life, which must reach some certain criteria (set by whom I am clueless about) and forgot occasionally who I was and what I was living for. In my dreams, I longed for Mozart's passion for music, I wanted to be in love blindly like Romeo and Juliet. Once in my life I wanted to feel something so utter, so strong that I could make the world fade away and just live. Yet, I was scared to let my only chance flow with some fantasies that might not exist, to walk into the darkness with no instructions. I was scared to live.
But, "Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use" (Wendell Johnson). I can never be the next Mozart. Wrong. The norms are always right. Totally wrong. One could not know how to live right without failures. Even though I'm not the smartest, brightest, or whatever kids with incredibly high IQs are called nowadays, I believe my achievements are, too, valuable. I remember the first time I skated, I fell until bruises on my knees could be seen from fifty meters away, literally, to skate two meters without falling. Every time I failed, I stood up to try once more. What would it be if I didn't try, what if I was afraid of not being able to skate? I would always stand look at those successful skaters and ask: "What if I tried?" I am telling you, I live to create my own history, either to be remembered or not. My life is not comparable, because no one could ever have a life that is better, or to be precise, similar to mine in any way. To write this, I sat down and thought through my whole life and its meaning like I never did (maybe I never really did) and concluded that my life is more than just an essay or going to college. It's hidden in the numbness when I see homeless kids in the street begging for money, the happiness of seeing my one-year-old cousin learning her first step, or listening to her first word; the crazy sleep-over with insane painted-faces...Someone once said one's life has no meaning at all, and I decide it is me who gives mine one.
For one true fact, I could never know that "today" beforehand. In fact, no one does. I do not want any moment for regret, asking the "What if" questions. To get what I want I have to go out there and try to grab it. Failures don't mean my life's over, it teaches me determination and having faith in what I do. It could happen that I'll get accepted to all universities and colleges in my list and won't be there to yell in tears of excitement, or I'll get rejected by all and begin walk on another direction. Maybe colleges and universities are not where I belong, but it would not hurt to find out, would it?