subject : - extra curricular activity - band
The fame of the Lawrence school band is known across the country. All the students of this school, dream to be a part of this school band from their Preparatory clases. I was no exception. I also dreamt of playing and marching to the beat of school band. When I was in class 9, I was selected for the band.
Through my junior school years, I recognized my talent and worked on it. Playing the bugle and the trumpet expanded my mental horizon -helping me to see the world from a different perspective. It made my actions mature and responsible.
During the tryouts for the 151st Founder's day, the band master and the band major were amazed at my performance and made me the band sergeant. When the grand maze was passed on to me, my band major said, "It is not just a maze but a test of responsibility and leadership".
i have a lot to learn in the field of instruments . I am looking forwad to learn more and reach the zenith in the college.
The fame of the Lawrence school band is known across the country.The Lawrence School Band is famous across the country.All the Students of this school, dream to be a part of this school bandplay and march to the beat of the band from their Preparatory clases, and I was no exception. I also dreamt of playing and marching to the beat of school band. When I was in class 9, I was selected for the band.(I was thrilled beyond my wildest dreams when my childhood fantasy was realized, when I was selected for the band in class 9)
Through my junior school years, I recognized my talent and worked on it. Playing the bugle and the trumpet expanded my mental horizon -helping me to see the world from a different perspective(why? That's critical in an essay like this). It made my actions mature and responsible.
During the tryouts for the 151st Founder's day, the band master and the band major were amazed at my performance and made me the band sergeant. When the grand maze(explain, maybe? cause I don't know what a maze is, in context) was passed on to me, my band major said, "It is not just a maze but a test of responsibility and leadership".(maybe you can start the essay with this idea... it seems like a nice beginning to an essay)
i have a lot to learn in the field of instruments . I am looking forwad to learn more and reach the zenith of my accomplishment in the college.
Needless to say, you should only take the change you think will work for you out of this. These are just a couple of suggestions.
Hope I helped!
dear madam,
thanks for u r correction. kindly see and again correct it.
aishwary
During the tryouts for the 151st Founder's day, the band master and the band major were amazed at my performance and made me the band sergeant. When the grand maze was passed on to me, my band major said, "It is not just a maze but a test of responsibility and leadership".
The Lawrence School Band is famous across the country. Students of this school, dream to play and march to the beat of the band from their Preparatory clases, and I was no exception.I was thrilled beyond my wildest dreams when my childhood fantasy was realized, when I was selected for the band in class 9.
Band to me is equivalent of transcendental meditation. It rejuvenates, relaxes, connects and gives an adrenaline rush that is woth all the cristicism and negative marks, i sometimes encounter. I have a lot to learn in the field of instruments. I am looking forward to learn more and reach the zenith of my accomplishments in college.
I didn't mean you should literally start your esay with that very sentence, you need to make the sentence fit the start of an essay. Something like
"'It is not just a maze but a test of responsibility and leadership'
I beamed with pride as the band master handed me the grand maze. I was now Band Seargent for the 151st Founder's day, and my dream had come true. I was ready to fulfill my resonsibility; to the band, to my school, and to myself."
Don't use that, necessarily. You actually shouldn't. That's just an example:).
"Band to me is equivalent of transcendental meditation."- I think it should be 'Music has the same effect on me as transcendental meditation.'
