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This will lead to my success at UCF - need some help


espnking191 1 / -  
Sep 15, 2009   #1
#4.
To contribute to the prestigious rank of UCF, I believe an applicant must present the following characteristics: dedication, intellect, and passion; I posses all three. The first term listed, "dedication" symbolizes my work ethic in and out of the classroom. Throughout my high school career I was not only dedicated to benefitting my academics, but also, the Varsity debate team. The dedication I posses has been molded throughout my high school career in a positive way that would lead to my success at UCF, and ultimately, success for UCF.

The next attribute I bring to UCF's "table" is my extensive intellect, not only the intellect pertaining to the raw core classes of an everyday class schedule, but intellect outside those boundaries. For example, my participation in the debate team has furthered my knowledge with regards to the many issues that affect our global market, environment, and populous; which students are not being lectured on daily; however, is the foundation for a strong contributor to UCF.

Since my freshman year in high school I have constantly contemplated the school I would be spending my four most important years at; and each year of sitting in those high school classes the same mascot has been projected throughout my mind, the UCF Knight. The passion I have for the UCF, I believe, is like no other.

With these certain characteristics I believe I can contribute to the UCF student body, community, and campus. These qualities I withhold are unlike any other because I exercise them at the highest level possible. This will lead to my success at UCF, and UCF's success with me.
EF_Simone 2 / 1,986  
Sep 15, 2009   #2
To contribute to the prestigious rank of UCF, I believe an applicant must present the following characteristics: dedication, intellect, and passion

This is not necessary. It makes the essay too abstract. Unfortunately you've built the essay around it. Start over, illustrating, rather than naming and describing, each of these qualities.
EF_Sean 6 / 3,491  
Sep 15, 2009   #3
Use narrative anecdotes. Recount stories about your experiences that show what you currently only tell.


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