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"learning through video games" - Why Computer Science (carnegie mellon)



miketheaddict 2 / 4  
Dec 28, 2011   #1
Prompt: Please submit a one-page, single-spaced essay that explains why you have chosen Carnegie Mellon your particular major(s), department(s) or program(s). This essay should include the reasons why you've chosen the major(s), any goals or relevant work plans and any other information you would like us to know. If you are applying to more than one college or program, please mention each college or program you are applying to. Because our admission committees review applicants by college and programs, your essay can impact our final decision. Please do not exceed one page for this essay.

I remember the braces, the glasses, and the awkward school dances of my second year in middle school. I honestly had no idea what I was doing back then and it was a struggle just to remember my locker combination. My goal that year was simply to survive, and possibly earn a few good grades along the way. Instead, I wound up uncovering my future in computer science, discovering my talent for 3d animation, and deciding what college I want to go to. 7th grade was one of the most disorientating years of my life, but it made the rest of my life so much more coherent.

I first became interested in computer science in my writing and typing course. I had chosen the class because its course description promised "learning through video games" and I have always been an eccentric video game fan. I showed up early on the first day, but was instantly disappointed when my teacher, Mrs. Kossler introduced us to Mavis Beacon Typing Tutor, the aforementioned "video game." I had already mastered my typing skills from working on my computer at home, so I did not expect to learn anything new from the class. I tried to pass the time by hiding behind my monitor and playing minesweeper, but Mrs. Kossler eventually noticed. Instead of being angry or disappointed, however, she was calm and composed. Mrs. Kossler understood why I was bored and she introduced me to what she called "a better waste of my time", a free program called Alice.

Alice is the 3d programming software that sparked my interest computer science. Before, I had no idea what computer science really was. I was misled by the word "science." I thought it was the study of computers and the falling green characters from the Matrix. But Alice showed me that computer science is more like an art than a science. It has the room for creativity that biology and chemistry lack. It is not about learning how to understand the code behind a computer program, but rather how to write that code and how to compile a new piece of software. Like an artist, I knew that what I could create with Alice was limited only by my imagination and dedication.

Of course, being a 13 year old, I had a very constricted imagination that thought about giant dinosaur fight scenes and gory shooting games most of the time. But in the confusion that was the 7th grade, it was refreshing to see something as complicated as a programming language become something as universally understandable as a T-rex battle. Computer science made sense to me, so I began to work at it and expand what I thought was possible. I began spending my lunches in the computer room and working on my Alice projects at home. Over the years, I moved from Alice, to Adobe Flash, to Blitz 3d. By high school, I had become part of a game programming community on yoyogames.com, sharing my creations online and actively participating in the community contests. As I practiced more and more, my imagination and ability grew. My ideas began becoming more creative and I had to dedicate most of my free time to learning new programming techniques in order to keep up. It became clear to me that I was going to study computer science in college.

Thanks in advance and just say so if you need help on your essay.
My first choice of colleges is Carnegie Mellon University, the creator of Alice. I have already learned so much from CMU, even before attending my first lecture. I do not know what it is like to mix ideas with some the brightest students in America or how exhilarating receiving a degree from one of the highest ranked computer science programs in the world feels. However, I have experienced the university's ideals firsthand. Carnegie Mellon's motto is "My heart is in the work" and through Alice, I have found "my work." Carnegie Mellon introduced me to my greatest passion.

Alright, so some things to note. College essays are due in like three days so I made this essay very vague on purpose because, at the very least, it will be used for 3 different colleges. I know this is a bad idea, but I'm not sure what choice I have. The last paragraph will be changed with every version of this essay I make, but that is also the paragraph I need the most help on. Also most "why this major" essays that I read online are all about helping people and changing the world, so I decided to take a different route. Let me know if it worked.

yusra12 6 / 24  
Dec 28, 2011   #2
"I honestly had no idea what I was doing back then and it was a struggle just to remember my locker combination."-i thought that was really funny!

Its interesting that you figured out your passion so early,but i suppose that just makes you a stronger applicant.
Overall,i think you did a great job on your essay. It seems really honest. My only critique is that you reallyy need to make it less vague. I know its crunch time for apps,but i think you should include something about your major,the school youre applying to,ect. Other than that,youre good to go=]

Goodluck on your essay! check out mines if you can.
OP miketheaddict 2 / 4  
Dec 28, 2011   #3
Thank you so much. I know it's vague; my plan is to make the ending as specific as possible to make up for it. That's why I said I needed the most help with the last paragraph.
cherrybomb94 20 / 44  
Dec 28, 2011   #4
maybe instead of "uncovering my future" you could say "uncovering my interest"
Also, for formal essays numbers like "7th grade" and "13" should be written out, like "thirteen"
eccentric video game fan--eccentric doenst quite work in this sentence...maybe "avid fan"?
I like the fact that your essay seems very honest. But you should try to expand or combine some of your sentences and, because many of them seem too choppy.

Hope I helped!


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