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"I am not legally able to vote yet" - Stanford Essays



shannon92 15 / 62  
Dec 15, 2009   #1
So, I'm not sure if this essay is even in the right ballpark/if I should find a new topic or not. Thanks!

-Stanford students are widely known to possess a sense of intellectual vitality. Tell us about an idea or an experience you have had that you find intellectually engaging. (250)

"The unexamined life is not worth living."-Socrates.

These words have resonated with me ever since I first heard them. This statement poses a challenge, questioning the nature of our human tendency to examine the world around us, and provoke thoughts about whether our use of technology is beneficial to society. Although the accrual of knowledge is both dangerous and unprecedented, I believe that it is more important for us to aspire to step outside our self defined "natural" borders and accept the drawbacks of technology than to sit back and be ignorant and naive to the world around us. The thirst for knowledge is only dangerous if it is reckless and purposeless.

In the novel Frankenstein, Victor irresponsibly seeks after knowledge for no good other than his own curiosity. This ruthless pursuit of knowledge proves dangerous, as his creation results in the destruction of his loved ones and drives him to insanity. Indeed Frankenstein shows us how the reckless lust for knowledge can prove dangerous, yet it doesn't say that knowledge should simply not be sought after. If we aren't willing to take any risks or make any sacrifices, society will never improve.

In an article by Neil Postman, "Informing Ourselves to Death," Postman asserts that technological change always results in winners and losers, and that technological innovations such as the computer are incredibly dangerous. However, I feel that technology becomes dangerous when people use it for their own personal gain rather than the good of society. Postman ends with the compelling thought which many prominent intellectuals have reached: "There is no escaping from ourselves. The human dilemma is as it has always been, and we solve nothing fundamental by cloaking ourselves in technological glory." While an overload of information and technological glory are not crucial to our most basic needs, if we never look for anything greater than ourselves then we will never be so grateful for having what we do have, and ultimately it is a life "unworth living."

Despite the fact that Prometheus tales have been taught to us since day one about he who tried to play God and failed miserably, we must consider the fact that those who were willing to step outside what people consider their natural boundaries learn something very valuable whether or not they find what they are looking for. If responsibly sought after, it can either make us more grateful for having what we already have, or lead us to new innovations that help solve problems and expand the boundaries of the natural human world.

yf8651 16 / 27  
Dec 16, 2009   #2
Your experience really impress me!

Personally, I think "While clashing beliefs caused tension among us" is a little bit too harsh.

Also, not "a refreshment" but "freshment". "I found a refreshment in the array of ideas and our efforts to work together to compromise on legislation."

Great work!
EF_Kevin 8 / 13053  
Dec 16, 2009   #3
Getting up everyday and looking through the San Francisco Chronicle I am reminded of the fact that I am not 18, and therefore I am not legally able to vote on any of the daily, controversial issues about which I often have strong opinions. about.

I think the last paragraph should start with:
At our first conference in November, I was... and then complete this paragraph by adding a sentence to the end that will show, through reflection, how this experience changed your feeling of being inert. (good word, by the way!)
ryanclare 2 / 7  
Dec 17, 2009   #4
yeah i agree. it is too wordy, gets kinda crazy in the middle. the beginning is pretty good though. also towards the end, make sure it is clear that you are applying for judicial review in the program, not in real life.
dramacratic 6 / 24  
Dec 30, 2009   #5
Your essay is very well written! My only concern is that the ending seemed a little...rushed. Was there a word requirement for this? You showed a lot in the first two paragraphs, but your last paragraph was much more "tell" than I prefer. Then again, that could just be me. Also, your sentences don't vary much in length, so you might want to look at that. I wish I could be of more help, but I'm rushing to get all of my other essays done, haha! Best of luck!
autogunny 3 / 69  
Dec 30, 2009   #6
I really liked your essay because it shows character. I don't think there is anything to change content-wise, but your sentences really need work. Sometimes, you put in so much information and it is a bit tiring to comprehend it all for someone reading it the first time. If you just take out some parts(to lower word count), you have a winning essay.


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