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Lehigh essay: define equity and community and their implications in society.


nicmont93 4 / 9  
Sep 9, 2010   #1
In our ever-changing society, people have defined 'equity' and 'community' in many different ways. How do you define these terms and what are the implications of equity and community for our 21st century society?

As I stare into a deep abyss of ocean-blue atmosphere, I consider that I am not the only curious soul delving into this unknown. In fact, thousands of miles away someone may be sifting through the same stars and the same thoughts. Perhaps such thoughts explore the magic of star formations such as the renowned "Big Dipper" or "Orion's Belt". It baffles me how even stars are grouped to form a stunning sight and this to me is the definition of community. On a more literal level, community is the integrration of people creating a close-knit group with specific attributes, such as support and unification. Without support of others a community cannot exist. People rely on each other to stabilize a functional community like stars rely on each other to balance out their own gravitational pull. As each luminous bundle of energy pulls on their neighbor stars, they are aligned in such a way to create an extraordinary sight. Similar to the stars, human beings depend upon and cooperate with each other to establish a prosperous society. Equity (i.e., each person's contribution to his or her community) is therefore one of the major components of a community and without this aspect, society would be at a standstill.

While our community continues to develop, naturally, we must adapt to our ever-changing environment. In our 21st century world, technology shares a direct relationship with violence and thus, for our own survival, community and equity become imperative. More optimistically, community and equity are also a big part in upholding a flourishing society in that we can progress with the rest of the world and continue to help those who are in need.

I was going for something kind of abstract and different for my intro instead of simply just answering the question.. not sure if its just just reandom and take it out?

also I'd appreciate any suggestions to improve my essay! Thanks.
Kapayapaanify1 6 / 19  
Sep 11, 2010   #2
Equity (i.e., each person's contribution to his or her community)

this is incorrect, equity mean Impartial justice, fairness or evenhandedness.

The expalinition about the community is beautiful and it shows that you have good ideas and wonderful writing skills.It would be better if you define equity correctly, followed by repercussions equity and community on the society.Without equity a community can not be establish, without which a society cannot sustain itself, however, in the 21st centuray the old norms are quite revised. Discuss about all this and your essay will become very good.

Hope my feedack will help you improve your essay :) and do post your re-write so that we can see how you have improved it. Can you read my essays and commnet on them too?

take care
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Sep 11, 2010   #3
On a more literal level, community is the integrration of people creating a close-knit group with specific attributes, such as support and unification.

Did you get this definition from some source? If so, cite the source. Check the spelling: integration (typo)

Also, this is important:

this is incorrect, equity mean Impartial justice, fairness or evenhandedness.

I agree. I also want to add that you should look this up with Google: difference between equity and equality
That will help you to give a very sophisticated discussion.
OP nicmont93 4 / 9  
Sep 12, 2010   #4
thank you for the advice. ill check your essay later tonight!

i didnt get that from the internet haha i made it up.

and really? wow i feel stupid... ill rewrite the part about equity and post it once again. thank you guys so much!
viwagude 1 / 4  
Sep 13, 2010   #5
Hi nicole ur essay has a good flow am also applyn 2 lehigh al post mine soon..well if u 2 make changes u shud add value in how equity has tangible effcts withn the commnty.
mea505 - / 265  
Sep 13, 2010   #6
society would be at a standstill -- I would add that with the attributes, society would not exist; it would not be at a standstill.

I agree with the other corrections, although I cannot make out what the last person tried to say.

Mark


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