Evaluate a significant experience, achievement, risk you have taken, or ethical dilemma you have faced and its impact on you.
Swapping jokes and telling stories as usual, my father and I, a general contractor and son from rural California, walked into the Bohemian Grove during encampment one brisk afternoon last summer, unaware of what to expect, when suddenly my father pointed across a beautiful green meadow, dropped his jaw, and asked, "Is that Henry Kissinger?" I was petrified. A mixture of emotions raced up and down my spine. Although I felt incredibly fortunate to be there, I also felt anxious, tense, and out of place. I felt like a mere mortal among gods.
Mired in the midst of this deep recession, my father, a general contractor, was fortunate to be selected to design and build two lodges at the Bohemian Grove, four hours away from our home. After completing the lodges, he was even more fortunate to be invited along with his son, me, to visit the Grove during encampment while all the members would be there.
Before going I knew the Bohemian Grove, situated in the massive redwood trees about an hour north of San Francisco, is a two-week summer retreat for a notoriously conservative collection of 1,500 of America's most prominent male leaders who play a vital role in shaping our nation politically, economically, and culturally. Among the members past and present include every Republican U.S. president since 1923, some Democratic U.S. presidents, scores of top business executives, and countless of America's most influential public figures and entertainers. As student body president of my school, I may be considered a leader in my own community, but my leadership ability would pale in comparison to that of any man here . . . or so I thought.
When we first walked into the camp, my father introduced me to his contacts, each of whom gave me a warm welcome. After shaking hands with one of the largest real estate developers west of the Mississippi and a former wide-receiver for the San Francisco 49ers, I went on to shake hands with a prominent bank executive on Wall Street and a respected political pundit from the Hoover Institute at Stanford University. These are them, I thought; these are the intangible characters that I have read about and seen on television throughout my entire life, and here I was, temporarily one of them. Feeling like I had just conquered the world, I sat back and listened to their conversations, trying to contribute where I could without appearing too naïve. The discussions were deep, and as the topics shifted from investing in Canadian crude oil to the intricacies of California's gubernatorial race, I pondered life, thinking that these are the conversations I crave-thinking that although I love talking about girls and the trivial aspects of everyday life with my friends, these too are the discussions I desire as I already find myself in heated debates with political and business leaders in my own community about these same issues.
As night fell, we walked to a magnificent common dinner area that seated all 1,500 members in the finest outdoor "dining hall" I had ever seen. Ornate redwood lodges were built into the trees on the hillside. Massive redwood tables, weaving in and out of trees, stretched from one end to the other. Lightly lit gas lamps illuminated the darkening night while some of the best musicians in the world played in the background. To top it off, the food was superb; we were living like kings! The great conversations continued at the dinner table, only this time the subject was BP stock that had recently halved in value. I enjoyed every moment of it.
Having believed most of these men were a part of some American aristocracy I have never known to well, I had mistakenly assumed most of them had been born with silver spoons in their mouths and had everything in life handed to them. My curiosity led me to ask those at my table about their history and how they got started. To my surprise, they came from a wide variety of backgrounds. While some were born at the top of society, most were not but had to work hard all their life to achieve their prominent stature. While some were educated at private high schools, most were educated at public high schools. While some were raised in metropolitan city centers, many were raised in small town America-some were even raised in a ranching community, like me. Then, one elderly man interrupted my line of inquiry and said something that I will never forget, "In this country, everybody has an equal shot at success, and many times innovation comes from humble beginnings."
Suddenly, I had an epiphany. All time stopped, and I thought. All of these men, my father included, whether born rich or poor, have a deep and enduring love for America, a country of unlimited opportunities with the unique belief that anyone born into our society, advantaged or not, can achieve their dreams. The men went on to say that ambition, perseverance, creativity, hard work, and a passion for life were all qualities that helped them achieve their successes. Success is not about the size of the man; it is about the size of the dream. Sitting there deep in the redwood forest, I realized I have the same opportunity to build my own dream, to create my own future, and to pursue my own success.
On that night of my life, I told myself that one day, I too will be one of these great leaders sitting around the redwood tables at the Bohemian Grove.
Hmmmm... Tanner. Its not serving the purpose. To elaborate, there is no mistake in your essay. But its weak. Weak in the sense that the impact is--- one line!!!!!!!
I realized I have the same opportunity to build my own dream, to create my own future, and to pursue my own success.
On that night of my life, I told myself that one day, I too will be one of these great leaders sitting around the redwood tables at the Bohemian Grove.
Is that it?
My curiosity led me to ask those at my table about their history and how they got started.
This should be the high point of the story you're telling us. Let's hear how what point of which story struck and struck you hard me. Move this line up. Remove some superfluous information and start. Let the essay speak words without you writing it. For that my suggestion is to read as many essay related to this. That you can form the structure.
Bring more of you in the essay and WHAT YOU PLAN TO DO AND EVEN BETTER MENTION SOME WORK YOU HAVE DONE. It gives volume to the essay that would be great.
Rework the content and I think it should turn out fine. Hope this helps.... :)
