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"My life in China; I appreciate my own culture" - Common App



MonsterTasha 2 / 3  
Dec 28, 2010   #1
Please be as brutal as you can be and help me improve this essay >____<"

According to Robert Fritz, "If you limit your choices only to what seems possible and reasonable, you disconnect yourself from what you truly want, and all that left is compromise". At the age of 15, I made a choice to move to China. Unlike many people I know, I was given a second chance to mend my ways and create a new beginning for myself again. I knew who and what I was leaving behind in order to venture on this exciting, life-changing experience but I remained firm with my plans, as I know that the end result of this choice would change me into a better person than I was.

From the moment I stepped foot on China's ground; I knew that I had to kiss my old life goodbye. Everything in China was different, from the food to their way of living, and in order to be able to live with the Chinese people, I have to move forward and be accustomed to their way of life. There were a few challenges I faced while living in China, the first and foremost was the language barrier between the Chinese people and I. The only form of communication I had with the Chinese people were hand signals, and even that could be tiresome for sometimes not many could understand the message I was trying to put across. I was also taken advantage of especially when shopping at their flea market; many times I was overcharge for a pair of shoes or a piece of clothing even after bargaining.

China is also known for their exotic delicacies in which I find very hard to swallow when I first came to the country. Due to this, I fell sick on the first week of arriving in China. French writer Simone de Beauvoir wrote in The Long March (1958); "The poet Ai Ts'ing told me one evening at table, 'we eat everything; everything on four legs except the table; and except for our friends and relatives, everything on two'". In the corner one of Beijing's famous shopping area, Wangfujing, lies a small snack street that has a selection of exotic food. I have to admit that seeing those snacks had left me speechless for I have never seen a fried scorpion or fried seahorses in my life before.

However, despite all odd the things I have discovered while living in China, there were also moments in which I cherished the most. I was enrolled in an international school where there are diversity in students and teachers. I met people that have molded me into a young lady of tomorrow. Unlike the teachers in my previous school in Singapore, the teachers here believed in me despite my mediocre grades or lack of enthusiasm in most classes. This has helped me change my perception towards the importance of education and serve as a backbone for me to excel in all my classes. My classmates came from different countries with different cultural backgrounds and working collaboratively with them on projects in school has enabled me to develop people's skills and self-awareness as it allows me to have a clear perception of who I really am and how the other people perceive me to be. In terms of the language barrier, I was given the opportunity to study Mandarin that has allowed me to create a bond with the Chinese people in China. Thus, the choice I made 3 years ago has helped me appreciate my own culture, the world outside of from Singapore and most importantly it has successfully changed me into a better person.

lions5693 2 / 2  
Dec 28, 2010   #2
From the moment I stepped foot on China's ground; I knew that I had to kiss my old life goodbye. Everything in China was different, from the food to their way of living, and in order to be able to live with the Chinese people, I have had to move forward and be become accustomed to their way of life. There were a few challenges I faced while living in China, the first and foremost was the language barrier between the Chinese people and I . The only form of communication I had with the Chinese people were hand signals, and even that could be tiresome for sometimes not many could understand the message I was trying to put across express. I was also taken advantage of especially when shopping at their flea market(markets); numerous times I was overcharge overcharged for a pair of shoes or a piece of clothing even after bargaining.

China is also known for their its exotic delicacies in which I find found very hard to swallow when I first came to the country. Due to this, I fell sick on the first week of arriving in China. French writer Simone de Beauvoir wrote in The Long March (1958); "The poet Ai Ts'ing told me one evening at table, 'we eat everything; everything on four legs except the table; and except for our friends and relatives, everything on two'". In the corner one of Beijing's famous shopping area, Wangfujing, lies a small snack street that has a selection of exotic food. I have to admit that seeing those these snacks had left me speechless for as I have had never seen a fried scorpion or fried seahorses in my life before .

However, despite all odd the the odd things I have discovered while living in China, there were also moments in which I cherished the most. I was enrolled in an international school where there are is diversity in among students and teachers. I met people that have molded me into a young lady of tomorrow. Unlike the teachers in my previous school in Singapore, the teachers here believed in me despite my mediocre grades or lack of enthusiasm in most classes. This has helped me change my perception towards the importance of education and serve served as a backbone for me to excel in all my classes. My classmates came from different countries with different cultural backgrounds and working collaboratively with them on projects in school has enabled me to develop people's skills and self-awareness as it allows me to have a clear perception of who I really am and how the other people perceive me to be. In addition , I was also given the opportunity to study Mandarin that has allowed me to create a bond with the Chinese people in China. Thus, the choice I made 3 years ago has helped me appreciate my own culture, the world outside of from Singapore and most importantly it has successfully changed me into a better person.

Kind of awkward you might want to say something along the lines of " Thus, the choice I made 3 years has not only taught me to appreciate my own culture as well as the world outside of Singapore, but but most importantly it has successfully changed me into a better person.
diboy2 6 / 19  
Dec 28, 2010   #3
MonsterTasha
French writer Simone de Beauvoir wrote in The Long March (1958); "The poet Ai Ts'ing told me one evening at table, 'we eat everything; everything on four legs except the table; and except for our friends and relatives, everything on two'".

This sounds a little of topic in an essay about china.

I met people that have molded me into a young lady of tomorrow.

How? (Love this sentence, but pls. elaborate)

thanks and pls. edit my why stanford?


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