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My life embodies FSU's guiding philosophy - my explanation



maryincollege 1 / 2  
Oct 11, 2009   #1
VIres Artes Mores have been the guiding philosophy behind FSU. Vires is strength of all kinds; moral, physical and intellectual. Artes is beauty of intellectual pursuits as shown in skill, craft or art. Mores is character custom or tradition. Describe how one or more of these values are reflected in your life.

My life embodies FSU's guiding philosophy. Here's my explanation:
My dad was transferred from NJ to Puerto Rico for five years when I was five. I was a shy child who found comfort in animals. I found two of the many stray dogs in PR and, against my parents wishes, nursed them back to health. Saving Puppito and Brownie helped change how I approached life.

We moved twice after that before landing in Florida, where I was again forced out of my comfort zone. A story that has had an impact was when I was 11, I invited new friends to my birthday party. No one showed up. That day, I learned the lesson to always be sensitive to others and their feelings. I vowed never let someone feel that hurt if I could help it.

I began achieving my bronze, then silver Congressional Medal of Honor as a sophomore and junior. I still hesitated to leave my comfort zone but needed to find a challenging exploration to satisfy my medal requirements, I chose an eight day exploration in Outward Bound School of wilderness training where I lived in the mountains with 12 other strangers. A life changing experience in which I gained mental and physical strength, I returned a confident, self assured person who was ready to embark on other challenges. I continue to follow the Outward Bound credo, "to strive to seek to find and not to yield."

At sixteen, I attended the National Youth Leadership Conference in Washington DC, where I found one could make a difference in public office. I knew I could touch people with the kindness and compassion that I was not only raised with by my parents, but learned on my own.

The fall of my junior year, I was elected as President of the American Red Cross Club. Standing up in front of a group leading a club was a far cry from the shy girl whose only friends were local stray dogs.

After completing two years in the Environmental Academy (JERFSA) I was selected as a recipient of the Pine Jog fellowship, at Florida Atlantic University. The last semester consisted of identifying an impoverished and underprivileged community, and teaching middle schoolers about the environment. This is where I feel the result of all the strengths I have achieved over the course of my life choices-moral, physical, intellectual, character, and skill-all came together. By the end, I had impacted 30 children that had never heard of conservation. We painted an environmental themed mural and taught them to plant flower and vegetable gardens. The last day, a student said to me "Miss Mary, you changed my life".

That week, my dog Puppito died, but I had achieved the strength and character to take on my next greatest challenge.
I hope you allow me the opportunity to put into action the guiding philosophy which has embodied my decisions, and continue the path I hope to embark on at the campus of FSU.

EF_Stephen - / 262  
Oct 11, 2009   #2
I really think this essay should be full of examples. Those Latin terms don't mean much without them.

You just have to be careful about running them together. Be judicious in your choices.
EF_Sean 6 / 3460  
Oct 11, 2009   #3
What a nice series of random paragraphs. Now, why don't you pick one and make it the focus of an essay? You need something more unified and coherent than this in an application essay, and simply listing accomplishments is probably unnecessary, as you have likely done so elsewhere in your application already.
OP maryincollege 1 / 2  
Oct 13, 2009   #4
Changed the whole thing and focused on my one experience at Outward Bound. Comments? BTW thanks so much for your help

While sleeping in the mountainous wilderness, my dreams overcrowd with pizza-filled plumbing, toilets worthy of being labeled porcelain thrones, a pool of linguine and even of a feather-soft bed, yet the insect inhabitants of my sleeping bag rarely last through my slumber into cushioned bliss.

My most challenging experience throughout personal pursuits in recent years has been the challenge of relying solely on myself while inflicted with physical and mental strain beyond daily standards. At North Carolina Outward Bound School I obtained my most prized possession, a pin- a symbol of my moral, physical and emotional strength, of the beauty I witnessed that will never duplicate and of the skills I learned to survive through. NCOB strives to model and teach students, without using anything beyond necessities, ten guiding principles ranging from leadership, courage, and physical fitness to principles of compassion, service, and diversity. I applied for NCOB because I was inspired by my parents separately completing Colorado Outward Bound years ago and out of want to challenge myself with the same standard of measurement and hopes for personal betterment that my parent had. I believe my life increases in importance and happiness when measured by the amount of goodness I create in my lifetime or through the experiences I open myself up to. By constantly challenging myself I constantly grow and by enjoying the joy of experience I am able to understand most effectively other viewpoints; as Abraham Lincoln said, "[w]hatever you are, be a good one."

On my final evening I roll my eyes in every direction, catching as many glances of the meteor shower as possible; I outstretch and situate my elbows on-top my knees, comfortably avoiding the seven blisters accumulated on each hand from three days of white-water canoeing on the Tuckaseege River. My three instructors align us twelve at the top look-out tower in the cemetery of the NCOB Headquarters and question, "[i]f this pin symbolizes the obstacles you successfully and wholly overcame will you have the moral capability to accept it with pride?" My instructors aided the development of personal-introspection in eights days by challenging us to disregard our fears or insecurities and discover an optimistic strength that may be applied to any future obstacle.

I sat in complete isolation from the buzz of the rest of world; I had never craved the comfort of society so greatly, yet in its absence I discovered an inner-strength I never would've know without isolation from everything that comforted me, from everything that supported my shortcomings. I stood ceremonially in the center of my peers to be first to brave accepting the self-appointed pin award. I knew I deserved its acceptance because to me it symbolized every time that I felt like quitting my arduous journey and didn't, every time I sacrificed for another and every moment that provided everlasting hope. I continue to carry that pin daily, each time looking down at it to be reminded not only of what I have overcome but the quality of confidence that I discovered in myself; I now know I can accomplish anything.
EF_Stephen - / 262  
Oct 13, 2009   #5
This is soooo much better than before. I thought that many examples would be good, but this is better. You've captured the essence of what Outward Bound is. Many people don't really know that, so this is also an informative essay.

You speak of your experience very well here.
EF_Sean 6 / 3460  
Oct 14, 2009   #6
While sleeping in the mountainous wilderness, my dreams overcrowd with pizza-filled plumbing,

Your dreams are sleeping? How odd. Remember that introductory clauses always modify the first noun after the comma, even if you don't mean them to.
OP maryincollege 1 / 2  
Oct 14, 2009   #7
Should i just omit the first paragraph?


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