Prompt: Submit an essay detailing how SBP can assist you in meeting your educational goals at FSU.
Hey everyone I need as much feedback as possible to make sure my essay's the best it can be before I actually submit it.
Essay:
An old Chinese Proverb stated, "A gem cannot be polished without friction, nor a man perfected without trial. Life hasn't been handed to me on a silver platter, i've had to claw and fight to reach the success that i've had thus far. My parents have struggled everyday to give my younger siblings and I a better life than they've had. Both of them raised in a poor Hispanic household, never had it easy; my mother, pregnant at sixteen had to give up her future to put mine as her first priority and my father's life wasn't what most people would call a crystal stair either.
As the eldest, I am looked at as the lighted torch that must lead the way and set an example for all the younger ones. I've become an extremely strong and driven person under all of that reaponsibility. The way I see it is, if I can be given the opportunity to succeed, then why not rise to the occasion ? The Summer Bridge Program is that opportunity that i'm referring to, the meer contingency to attend one of the top universities in the nation is a feat in itself. I know i'm going to need that support and strong foundation to help me make this huge adjustment.
There's a quote that my mother always reiterates to keep me motivated, it goes like this, "never look back unless your planning on going in that direction". I've gotten so far in my success that taking unecessary steps backwards would just slow me down, making me stagnate. The refusal to have a moment of plateau in my life pushes me to ensure that i'm constantly improving and growing as a person.
As I sit back and contemplate on where I see myself spending the most important few years of my life, I can think of no better place than Florida State University. A top school in the nation with a "small school" atmosphere is difficult to find in other major research universities. FSU's motto, "Vires, Artes, Mores" is a combination of strength, tradition and the arts; three values that play a pivotal part in my life. I am positive that these strengths will continue to push me throughout my academic career with the help of the Summer Bridge Program ensuring that I get the most out of my transition form high school to college.
Hey everyone I need as much feedback as possible to make sure my essay's the best it can be before I actually submit it.
Essay:
An old Chinese Proverb stated, "A gem cannot be polished without friction, nor a man perfected without trial. Life hasn't been handed to me on a silver platter, i've had to claw and fight to reach the success that i've had thus far. My parents have struggled everyday to give my younger siblings and I a better life than they've had. Both of them raised in a poor Hispanic household, never had it easy; my mother, pregnant at sixteen had to give up her future to put mine as her first priority and my father's life wasn't what most people would call a crystal stair either.
As the eldest, I am looked at as the lighted torch that must lead the way and set an example for all the younger ones. I've become an extremely strong and driven person under all of that reaponsibility. The way I see it is, if I can be given the opportunity to succeed, then why not rise to the occasion ? The Summer Bridge Program is that opportunity that i'm referring to, the meer contingency to attend one of the top universities in the nation is a feat in itself. I know i'm going to need that support and strong foundation to help me make this huge adjustment.
There's a quote that my mother always reiterates to keep me motivated, it goes like this, "never look back unless your planning on going in that direction". I've gotten so far in my success that taking unecessary steps backwards would just slow me down, making me stagnate. The refusal to have a moment of plateau in my life pushes me to ensure that i'm constantly improving and growing as a person.
As I sit back and contemplate on where I see myself spending the most important few years of my life, I can think of no better place than Florida State University. A top school in the nation with a "small school" atmosphere is difficult to find in other major research universities. FSU's motto, "Vires, Artes, Mores" is a combination of strength, tradition and the arts; three values that play a pivotal part in my life. I am positive that these strengths will continue to push me throughout my academic career with the help of the Summer Bridge Program ensuring that I get the most out of my transition form high school to college.