'much more to life than just to have a mansion' - commonapp short answer

Being a teacher is a challenge. The responsibility one has to undertake is huge and the pressure it induces needs some real courage and meticulous behavior to come across. The fun part is that there is immense pleasure to make students understand concepts, make the class drawn towards you and make positive impact in someone else's life. At first, I only took teaching as work that paid me but it got me so interested that I chose to spend my gap year as an assistant teacher. I understood the meaning of "learning"; I saw what it had taken for my parents and teacher to make me; most importantly, I learnt the essence of "giving" which now makes me think that there is much more to life than just to have a mansion, a happy family and a dog. Teaching is a way to learn about whole lot of things.

Talk more about your experience as a teacher, and be specific. Maybe you could quote an anecdote or an experience. The end is also, according to me, not very impactful. Overall, the language used is simple and could be improvised on.

Good luck :)

Being a teacher is a challenge. The responsibility one has to undertake is huge. The pressure it induces needs some real courage and meticulous behavior to come across. I'm not sure what you're trying to say in the second sentence? So I didn't edit it, but figure out what you want to say and state it more clearly.

The fun part is that there is an immense pleasure to[/hr] in making students understand concepts, making the class drawn towards you and makinga positive impact in someone else's life. At first, I only took teaching as work that paid mea job? but it got me so interested methat so I chose to spend my gap year as an assistant teacher. I understood the meaning of "learning"; I saw what it had taken for my parents and teacher to make me (?); most importantly, I learnt the essence of "giving" which now makes me think that there is much more to life than just to have a mansion, a happy family and a dog. Teaching is a way to learn about whole lot of things.

Good start! Just needs some basic grammatical editing.

Thanks man! Here I tried to re-write it. Please check it once..

Being a teacher is a challenge. The responsibility one has to undertake while teaching induces great pressure which one has to overcome meticulously. However the fun part is that there is an immense pleasure in making students master concepts, making the class drawn to you and making a positive impact in someone else's life. At first, I only took teaching as a job in "Lotus Public School, Kathmandu" but it interested me so much that I chose to spend my gap year after high school as an assistant computer teacher in "Columbus International School, Kathmandu". I understood the meaning of "learning"; I knew how complicated process teaching was and could see what my parents and teacher had gone through to make me who I am today; most importantly, I learnt the essence of "giving". It now makes me think that there is much more to life than having a mansion, a happy family and a dog. Honestly, you get to learn a whole lot yourself as you're teaching the little ones.