Hey guys. I wrote an essay on the first common app topic: Some students have a background or story that is so central to their identity that they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story. (250-650 Words).
I'm really looking forward to any opinions. Thanks
For as long as I can remember, numbers have been a huge part of my life. I wasn't the brightest student in primary or middle school, hell, I wasn't even getting good marks in math, but whenever I sat down to do math homework or assignments, I wanted to do them. I wanted to see a question and begin solving it, I wanted the puzzle, the mystery, the rush when I reached that last line of the equation. At the end of my arduous yet pleasurable endeavor, I couldn't help but feel warmth inside me, like I had rediscovered fire. I was always awed by how I had started with something abstract and came up with this array of numbers which meant nothing to anyone but meant the world to me. The best part, I didn't have to remember anything. It came to me as I went. Such a beautiful art, so innate and so spontaneous, it was almost like a supernatural inspiration. It was like my own personal Universe, of which I knew nothing about but the thrill was in finding everything out for myself.
Answers led to more questions; how do imaginary numbers have an impact in the real world, why is the derivative of the area of a circle equal to its circumference and why is 2.71 so special? I could be compared to a druggie with easy access to his addiction. Furthermore, it wasn't a drug which was condemned but rather one which was encouraged. So I was going through life with everything I wanted and I was doing pretty well in the other subjects; I was indulging my passion without compromising my other 'duties'.
As I grew older, the problems became more complex, and my need became vaster. I was realizing that our world wouldn't function without a decent knowledge of math, that those abstract arrays of numbers at the end did hold some meaning, that there would be no physics, chemistry, computer science or economics without math. Everything changed. My simple passion became an obsession. Why is the Fibonacci sequence so common in nature, why does the earth orbit in a way such that it sweeps equal areas in equal amounts of time, why is the Universe flat etc. It didn't matter what questions I asked, since all of it could be explained by some mathematical formula or equation. It wasn't just the numbers anymore, it was what they could represent, what they could define, which, to my awe, was practically everything. I still can't believe how organized and divine it all is. Like how it is all definite, that we can find a way to describe it with numbers. I don't know about anyone else, but just thinking about it, that everything out there is quantifiable, that there is a way that we, being nothing more than tiny specks of stardust which just happened to coalesce into this intelligent being, can define and parameterize the entire Universe with just a few equations on paper.
Now here I am, looking forward to pursuing this passion of mine in college. I want to gain more knowledge of the Universe through numbers, so that one day I can help find that one equation which defines everything, from the origin of the mysterious forces within the atoms to the width of this never-ending Universe. I want to somehow be a part of or at least witness the manifestation of this almost magical idea.
What a day that will be.
Hamza, you are writing an academic paper. Respect the reader / admissions officer who is reviewing your application. Do not show disrespect by cussing in the essay. If you want your essay to immediately fall on the bad side of the reader, swear at the person. Whether directed to the person or not, swearing in a formal application is frowned upon and is unacceptable in respectable academic circles. That said, you need to revise the following sentence:
I wasn't the brightest student in primary or middle school, hell , I wasn't even getting good marks in math, but whenever I sat down to do math homework or assignments, I wanted to do them.
for obvious reasons.
Aside from that little hiccup in your paper, the overall central identity theme of someone who has long been looking for answers to life questions through scientific undertakings comes across in your writing. I am assuming that it is that part of your personality that you feel is a central and integral part of the person you have become. Am I right in assuming that? Perhaps you can better conclude the essay by discussing how your love for science has grown into such a passion that it has become a part of who you are now. Is there a way that you can relate science to your everyday life in relation to your identity? I think that if you successfully do that, you will have a better developed essay :-)
