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"Let your life speak." - environment I was raised in



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Oct 29, 2012   #1
"Let your life speak." Describe the environment in which you were raised - your family, home, neighborhood or community - and how it influenced the person you are today

Wasteful Student Life



Slouching, boyfriends, wasting food, and phone conversations that lasted a little too long were never acceptable in my household. I was always a handful, so madly driven from when I was young to save every frog in a confining, unfeeling classroom from dissection, or find a debit card to sponsor a Nigerian child. The climax of my teen angst occurred in the awkward vortex of middle school. I was repulsed by my barbaric seventh grade principal, as he swallowed a goldfish live in the name of a school fundraiser. My "peaceful protest" resulted in a day of profound self reflection in the corner of the Travis Middle School In-School-Suspension building. I was never forced to do homework, or go school even, but it was imperative that I maintained all A's. American schooling was painted to me as a factory eventually pumping out a "salary", known as "the better life" that my parents leaped across the globe for, away from a crowded flat teeming with mirth and familiarity. I've retained this global perspective even through assimilation into American culture, and living in a small, conservative town that couldn't stand a Gay-Straight Alliance. Today I've found every habit, meal, conversation and relationship of divine sentiment. I find that late hours comforting my mother, unaware of where she is or who the voices speaking in her mind are, are just as significant as the hours analyzing kennings in a passage from Beowulf, or calculating allele frequencies.


not done, very rough. thank you in advance!

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Oct 29, 2012   #2
I do like your essay a lot, it captures many aspects of your personality in relation to your environment. However, it's hard to identify what the point you're trying to make is. In your essay ou take us through a journey of your household rules, your firm belief that all life is sacred, your school and town's less liberal attitudes, your parents views on American schooling and how your opinions devloped outside of that, and your mother's issues.

Try and take one of these, and zoom in. Maybe write about your town's right stance compared to your left. I feel that you want to list everything about your life in one 250 word essay. Beyond this, there are some great things you could write about in here!


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