My world is divided into two: personal and academic. Throughout high school, these two worlds clashed with each other and tested my patience and endurance. Accomplishing the challenge of blending my two worlds made me wiser, because each hurdle I went through only made me stronger and better prepared me to face my future. By staying committed to my extracurricular activities, working for my grades, and adjusting to change and hardships in my personal life, my world taught me the importance of receiving a good college education and eventually achieving my dream of becoming a doctor.
My personal world is like a roller coaster. It has its ups and downs. I live in a two bedroom one bathroom home. My father has been sick since I was child. My mother works at a furniture store that is going bankrupt. Although these conditions seem bleak, we are happy because we are still together and have a stable source of income. Compared to the past two years, we are doing great this year so far.
Sophomore and junior years were the worst. After moving 14 times, we were determined to stay in Irvine I completed high school. Since both parents were unemployed, we would struggle to keep up with each month's rent. Under pressure, my parents would often break down or lash out irrationally. My father's illness was aggravated and he began to have a very sensitive temperament. On the surface, my parents put pressure on me to succeed, but understandably, they were struggling to survive and I was alone. I liked to be independent, but my resources became limited in terms of transportation and money.
My academic world stands in contrast to my personal world. At school, it seemed as if my life was normal and that I was on the track to success like my other classmates. My school day started at 6am and ended around 6pm. Journalism was zero period and I loved it too much to quit. I took on a heavy class load and wanted to succeed more than anything. I also volunteered and worked as a tutor after school.
My personal problems kept me from focusing at school. As much as I tried to forget them, I remained disturbed and worried about the future and my father's health. He was getting worse every day; it was painful to see his thin arms and legs, which reminded me of pictures from concentration camps. The risk of becoming homeless was very real. Many times, reality ousted my expectations and I ended up being disappointed. I thought our financial problems were only temporary but they were only getting worse. At school, my grades were not reflecting the amount of effort I was putting in. I was taking too many classes at once at the wrong time and I was exhausted by the time I came home.
I could not change my situation but I could change my attitude. I separated myself from problems at home. I could not give up; I had come too far and giving up would not get me anywhere. I had made a commitment to journalism, tutoring, and school and I had to stick to it until I graduated. Time was passing by fast and I could not let it go wasted. I kept my expectations low and my goals high. My parents had made too many sacrifices and I had to make them proud. My father inspired me to become to get an education to be a doctor so that I would be able to help others and help them prevent an illness from interfering with their lives and families.
this essay really lacks focus and you seem to just be rambling, and then adding at the end that you want to be a doctor because your dad said to. unfortunately essays cant be used to mention every single hardship youve ever experienced.
perhaps you should write an essay on just your father. you could detail his illness, his role in how your family sometimes breaks down, his influence on you taking up school commitments, how it affects your studying, and tie it all up with how he made you want to be a doctor. really elaborate on the last part.
i really understand what kind of world you come from just by reading the essay but you seemed to be talking too much about your hardships. However, if you can connect the dots between your hardships to your dreams and aspirations, perhaps something good might come out of this essay. I kinda got confused when you stated your love for journalism but in the end, you wanted to be a doctor. Perhaps...you can elaborate more on your love for journalism and explain how it plays a role in your life.
