Hey guys, this is my essay for the supplement form #1 for Colorado College. I would appreciate your help, it would mean the world to me.
Thanks in advance
How did you learn about Colorado College and why do you wish to attend?
Looking at the list of schools that QuestBridge was partnered, Colorado College attracted my attention immediately. I started to research about it and found incredible things that made me selected as "the one" just like someone chooses a partner for the rest of their life, I fell in love with CC and a desire to belong in it has keep growing inside my heart.
The innovative and unique block plan amused me, the opportunity to focus on a single class during three and a half weeks without having to stress about another six or ten classes was perfect for me. This fitted on my perfectly as I am a person of focusing on one thing at a time and excelling at it than doing several actions and not being able to complete them.
Ever since I was little, my love for nature has been immense. I love getting wet in a lake or running up a mountain and after I saw the environment that surrounds CC I was awestruck. The Rocky mountains, the several national parks, the great weather, they all made me realized the beauty of the campus and Colorado Springs. Even though, I have not been able to visit it and judge it by myself, I can certainly say that the pictures and the testimonies from alumni just motivate me more to go there and see it by myself.
Traveling is one of the elixirs that make life beautiful. I had the luck to come from Colombia and live in the US, it was a privilege to be able to come to another country, like more than 80% of the students at CC go and study abroad. I would love to have more experiences in another country that would enrich my knowledge and open up new perspectives for me.
Learning about Colorado College has been a blessing. I see this school as the next step in my life, where I would not only be studying what I love most, but where I would enjoy one of the best phases in my life. An unique curriculum, one of the most beautiful panoramas of the country, small and intimate classes, excelling teachers, these are a few of the many things that made me realize that the more I researched about CC, the more I wanted to be there.College is an unique experience and spending four years of my life at CC would be one of the wisest and best decisions in my life. I can't wait to be sitting down in Wooglin's Deli enjoying a cappuccino while studying for my next block.
The innovative and unique block plan amused me, the opportunity to focus on a single class during three and a half weeks without having to stress about another six or ten classes was perfect for me. This fitted on my perfectly as I am a person of focusing on one thing at a time and excelling at it than doing several actions and not being able to complete them.
In red: I'm sure you forgot to add a word just make sure to!
- after "The innovative and unique block plan amused me" put a ";" instead of the comma
- for the sentence in your third paragraph beginning with "Even though," delete the comma after even though.
- change the "I would love to have more experiences in another country" to "I would love to have more experiences in other countries"
If you get the chance, please read mine!! Thanks :)
Hi Jorge, I think you should add something about your intended field of study and the opportunities CC has in that particular subject,some extra-curricular that you are interested in, something new you want to contribute to CC like a new club sort of thing ect..
Hope this helps...look out for some grammar problems in your essay..Good luck.
