"Limitless" - MIT Essay; I come from a family who thinks a human limit exists

I'm not really used to writing essays. Can you please help me with this? If this sounds enough or just sounds like another boring essay? Thank you.

Describe the world you come from; for example, your family, clubs, school, community, city, or town. How has that world shaped your dreams and aspirations?(*) (200-250 words)

I come from a family who thinks a human limit exists. That's the reason why I don't feel totally at home when I'm home. My parents never made it to undergraduate diploma. My sisters could only attend average quality university. It was only my brother who could make it to attend ITB for postgraduate program. But all they think is we will always end up being employed to earn money and that is it. We never think we can change the world.

But here I am, living under this roof. I always feel my genes aren't the same with theirs. I assume I am the victim of genes mutation in my family. I think differently. I always believe we never have a limit and that we are actually meant to be more than being employed by company and have a new family. We are meant to take care of this world.

For seventeen years I live below the same roof as they do, the fact that I'm not the same has given me one aspiration that I dare to chase. It's that I will run further than my brother does. I will run to the edge of the world and show everyone, especially my family, that we have no limit and our future is more than being employed for high salary. Our real future is about changing the world into a better place by our limitless capability.

I think you can make it more specific by using more details. The lack of detail and sensitivity is obvious. If you want, there are also some grammatical problems which I can correct for you; however, I recommend you to take sometime, thinking about a more interesting and more detailed situation in your family. You can elaborate on the concept much more than this.

You have actually written a very interesting essay. However, you need to clarify what you mean by a human limit existing for your family members. All of you have managed to go to college and one even managed to achieve higher advanced education. So I am not sure if a human limitation really exists. I believe that your paper will benefit from a few examples of the times when your family displayed believing in such limitations. Concrete examples that you can use to launch your belief that you may be from a different DNA chain than everyone else.

Speaking of everyone else, it would do this essay well if you dug deeper into your mindset about human's not having any limits. I suggest that you tell us about a time when you argued about that point with your family and how you defended your stand. Then let us know if your family supports your attempt to attend college. If they do not, explain why in terms of the limitations that they believe in. If they do support it explain your puzzlement at how they can support your college dreams and yet believe that humans have limitations.

More specifically, are these gender based or education based limitations? Those are but two types of human limitations that some people believe to exist. So I believe you need to get more specific about the limitations that you are discussing. Don't forget to relate the discussion to you wishing to break out of the mold and how you plan to show your family that human limitations do not exist either through your academic achievements or future professional goals :-)