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"Linsanity" completely took over the nation; I pretended not to like Jeremy Lin



achen187 5 / 10  
Dec 26, 2012   #1
Should I change my topic?
1st draft

Jeremy Lin has been dubbed the savior and face of Asian basketball ever since he broke onto the scene late last year with the New York Knicks. Many Asian-Americans proudly jumped on the bandwagon in support of their new favorite countryman. "Linsanity" completely took over the nation and Asians were proud to call Jeremy Lin one of their own. On the surface, I acted like I wasn't a fan of Lin, because of the stereotypes and names that I myself began to draw. Since I would regularly play basketball with my friends during my free time, many of my friends began to dub me as "Jeremy Lin". I consider myself to be pretty athletic and good at most sports. Before Jeremy Lin broke onto the scene, I was my own person and just considered a good athlete. However, after Linsanity occurred, whenever I would demonstrate my athletic ability, the name "Lin" would be thrown out again. This stereotype was very uncomfortable for me. However, I found myself rooting for Jeremy in secret, hoping that his success would continue and not just be an anomaly. The truth is, Jeremy Lin has helped me become proud of my heritage. I am not ashamed of being Asian-American. Jeremy Lin has also helped me realize that I can achieve any dream, no matter how difficult or far-fetched. I am proud to say today that Jeremy Lin is my hero.

harsh criticism please :)

katev 18 / 111  
Dec 27, 2012   #2
I wouldn't change the topic! I'm having a hard time coming up with something and this is very good and unique. I think the Linsanity has died down to where you'd be pretty unique to write about him!

I consider myself to be pretty athletic and good at most sports. Before Jeremy Lin broke onto the scene, I was my own person and just considered a good athlete

These sentences drift away from where I thought you were going with your sentence about basketball. I don't think you need these two sentences

I was my own person and just considered a good athlete

I was just considered a good athlete

This stereotype was very uncomfortable for me

Why were you uncomfortable? (I know why, but you should state it/explain it)

I am proud to say today that Jeremy Lin is my hero.

Sort of contradicts the prompt. Maybe go with "I am proud to say today that Jeremy Lin is my hero... as long as no one else hears me say it."


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