This is my essay for prompt one of the UC application that asks for the world you come from and how it has shaped your dreams and aspirations. Here is my essay, all comments and critique are greatly appreciated. THANKS!
I live a busy life and am only comfortable when I am in a fast-paced environment. Being Editor in Chief of the yearbook is perfect for me because I am constantly busy and always multi-tasking. I find myself most happy when I simply let stress into my life and set out to overcome as much as I can. I've never been one for the quiet and simple, and instead prefer the fast, chaotic, and challenging.
Stress fuels me. After two years of being the junior high yearbook editor in chief and a standard staff member my freshman year, I became an editor my sophomore year. The next year when the original editor in chief fell through, I took over my school's first ever monthly yearbook. Starting two months behind, I began my challenge. Through effective time management, careful planning, and lots of motivation I was able to guide the staff in producing a quality yearbook that won a silver medal from the National Scholastic Press Association. Along the production path I managed to still participate in several clubs, making my involvement work for me by using my knowledge of upcoming events to better plan photography and reporting opportunities. It wasn't until I became editor in chief that I truly began to love the excitement of working on a production and realize it was where I belonged.
As my second year as Editor in Chief I aimed to challenge my staff further by taking on a weekly yearbook with a more creative design. Thus far I have expanded my teaching skills, become a better writer, and developed my design abilities. Although it is easier this time, I never let life get too simple and constantly search for ways to improve the yearbook, my staff, and even myself. My experience in yearbook has expanded my creativity and made me constantly strive for innovation.
Although I have learned many new skills in Yearbook, what I value most is the relationships I have built with fellow yerds (yearbook nerds) and even the advisor. They have motivated me and helped me, and I have assisted them and even used my knowledge from Education Talent Search to help some through the college application process. Although the business of yearbook brought us together our relationships go much deeper. Through the 8 AM Saturday mornings and 11 PM deadline nights I have gone through everything with my fellow yerds. After learning the value of such a close environment, I now aspire to have it in my own career.
Six years and an uncountable number of hours later, my experiences in Yearbook as both staffer and as Editor in Chief, have made me a more confident, more creative, and more prepared person. Full of stress and busier than any bee, or hornet in my case, being the yearbook editor in chief has given me a passion for production and a comfort in chaos that always puts a smile on my face.
Hi,
I think your essay's really well written- you show your determination and persistance really well. However I think the subject could be changed? Or maybe you could discuss your background/family/personal life as well as your main essay.
But i thought your last paragraph was really great and had a strong ending.
Good luck applying! :)
Hi!
Here's what I thought, when I first read this.
"I live a busy life and am only comfortable when I am in a fast-paced environment. Being Editor in Chief of the yearbook is perfect for me because I am constantly busy and always multi-tasking." You've said you are 'busy' twice, that makes it a LITTLE too repetitive for an introduction.
Actually, you CAN knock off most or all of the first paragraph. The first line of the second says almost the same thing.
"an uncountable number".. something feels wrong about that. Try innumerable?
And my gut instinct... it's a little vanilla. Bland. It's GOOD, but doesn't show much creativity (which you seem to have) and doesn't REALLY make you stand out from the other people applying. But that's just what I think. I think if you add another dimension it wouldmake it a LOT better. Also, stress your achievements more. I saw 'six years' at the beginning of the last paragraph and I went 'WOW, six years!? Why didn't he say that before? DAMN he must be good...' Don't make the reader wait for the end for that revalation.
If you have time, could you check out what I had to say for the same topic? It would be great if you could. It's at UC Essay: Prompt 1
Thanks in advance, and hoped I helped!
