"Location, technology and business" - Bentley -your interest in Bentley University

Beside its well known reputation as one of the leading college in undergraduate business, Bentley University is a perfect choice for me because of many reasons. First,I think that Bentley's location is one factor that will benefit my study. Second, Bentley is a unique school with its focus in technology to serve as a main tool for business study.

One of the best things about Bentley is its location. Bentley is located in Waltham, a city which is very near to Boston. This location gives me two benefits. First, it helps to get rid of a distractionn from a big city like Boston. Being in the middle of world class shopping, restaurant or sport events from the Celtics, undoubtedly, it would be hard for me to concentrate on my studies. On the other hand, Bentley's location near the biggest city in New England gives me the chance to do a lot of internships. I feel that internship plays a very important role in students' future success, so Bentley's location will help me to fulfill my wish of doing internships.

Another factor that make Bentley become a school I must apply is its focus on technology. Bentley's focus on technology makes it become unique and an innovative college in my eyes. I feel strongly engaged with the fact that Bentley gives its students laptops with software and network ready for students and also a wireless coverage throughout campus. I agree with Bentley that internet and business are "essential partners". I also cannot wait if I have chance to experience Bentleys' labs with their technological facilities of professional business. I think that Bentley's method of combining technology and business as partnership gives students a strong preparation in a real business world.

These reasons set Bentley apart from my other colleges. I will have infinite advantages in internships if I get accepted to Bentley, which gets me a lot of preparation in my future career. I also feel grateful if I have chance to experience Bentley's unique combination of technology and business. By having an education from Bentley, I strongly believe that I can become an individual who makes a difference in everything.

Any comments and revision are greatly appreciated, Thanks guys...

Thank you for your revision zdmw911
do you think my ideas are fine? should i change the location part?

I need more help guys :(

Beside its well known (not necessary or helpful) reputation as one of the ...

...a unique school with its focus in technology to serve as a main tool for business study...this does not really say much of anything. All schools use technology.

Typo: distractionn

Capitalize Internet.

I think that Bentley's method of combining ...

I think you should talk more about how their innovative use of technology is helpful for someone with your specific short term goals. Also, I think it is not helpful to talk about location. You could sum that location paragraph up in a single, brief sentence. So... concentrate on a theme that shows the way the school's uniqueness is compatible with YOUR uniqueness. Your unique intentions for the near future.

:-)

Thank you very much Kevin :)